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Practically every night I check his pull up before getting him in bed...he's wet so I change him in bathroom & get him cleaned up. Within less than 2 minutes after getting all situated in bed he whispers Babe...I answer and he says I need to go pee. I go back to him & repeat. Then 5-15 minutes later he tells me again. He's wet again! This happens up to 7 times a night. I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm advised to sleep when he sleeps but this isn't always possible due to other obligations. I thought of diapers but those are such a hassle and besides that when he needs to pee or is wet he automatically wants or does get out of the bed. Oh his nurse says don't give him anything to drink after 6 pm...it still happens. Suggestions?

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I’m so sorry you are going through this. I feel your pain as my husband had to wake several times a night as well and because of problems with his hands I had to wake up to hold the urinal and place him in it. Something I heard recently during a hospital stay is that a nurse asked my husband if he wanted a “condom cath”. I’d never heard of that before even when I was struggling with this issue and asking medical professionals if there was any device or product we could use besides briefs ( which he wouldn’t use). It’s my understanding that it fits over the penis and drains into a bedside bag. If your husband isn’t having problems with his bowels this may be a solution. I know how precious uninterrupted sleep is. God Bless you and prayers are sent your way.
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My husband was having a similar problem. We asked the urologist for a condom catheter which has helped him get more sleep as well as me.
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Have you tried having him use a Urinal? They even make one that can be used sitting on the side of the bed.

For 2 years I had the same situation as you, but instead of pull-ups, I just let him sleep 'commando' and when he had to get up and go, I got him up and he went. He woke me pretty much every hour. Instead of Depends, I bought washable Bed Pads for all the furniture, not just the bed. I covered the couch with a waterproof sheet because he wound up sleeping on the couch during the first year and I put a daybed into the living room the 2nd year. I know, it isn't easy - but they can't hold it for the time it takes to take down the pull-ups. So we just didn't use them. It was only the 2 of us and we rarely if ever got company. I just told the truth, DH is uncomfortable with company.

Like you, I was not getting enough sleep. It was suggested by a "health-nut friend" to try Ashwagandha and my goodness but it helped me immensely - it allowed me to fall back asleep and awaken in the morning feeling rested! It also cut down the stress without taking drugs. Ashwagandha is a root - you can look it up.

Good luck honey - I know you need it.
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My husand is very active at night due to an enlarged prostate. He takes the medication Finasteride and has added the use of a catheter several times a day, especially important before bedtime. Both have given him more control, but he still awakens to pee numerous times during the night. I am a light sleeper so I never got sufficient uninterrupted sleep. I finally bought a comfy cot and put it in my study/studio. After years of sleeping together, neither of us were happy about the arrangement. However, I now get a full night's sleep. When I go to bed, I bless my little cozy haven and when I awake I feel better able to face the day's challenges.... And I'm much less grumpy, which he has come to appreciate. It's a trade-off, but a winning one for us. Hope you find solutions that make your difficult situation more bearable.
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In healthy young people, a hormone called antidiuretic hormone stops the kidneys making much urine during sleep. With age, the body makes less of this hormone, so the kidneys make as much or even more urine during sleep as they do in the day. This means the bladder will need to be emptied more often through the night.
As mentioned, the condom catheter is a great choice. We used it with my FIL. We learned though, that we had to tape it to the body to keep it from falling off. Without the tape we had a leak about once a week. After taping we had a leak once every 2-3 months. We used Omniflex, Hypafix or other similar tape, because regular medical tapes did not adhere to the silicon condom. A technician at the urologists office measured him for the size. Unfortunately the urologist did not recommend this, but was happy to help when I asked if this was a possibility. I believe he felt that there are a lot of leaks with it, and other patients had found it unsatisfactory. It was discouraging at first, but with our own investigating, trial and error we found it to increase the quality of life considerably. As he got full nights of sleep his mental and emotional status improved.
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Prostate problems in men also causes frequent nighttime urination.
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He does have enlarged prostate and is on 2 medications for this. One is to help him urinate. Before getting Rx to help him urinate, he was not going all day long. They did sonogram of his bladder and it was 2 pee sample cups full. they had to put catheter to drain bladder. On follow up dr wasn't listening because he called in RX which I had no reason to question it but then later realized the dr prescribed medication for bladder leakage! Went to his primary next day and is now on 2nd med to help with urinating.
He is not on diuretics.
When he either has the urge he knows he is supposed to go to bathroom but once we get in bathroom, it is like he is confused as to what to do. I have to assist but it doesn't always go into toilet. When I check his pull up it is wet...not always soaked during this time.
He wears the briefs/pull ups...I do not say diapers...I always refer to them as underwear. I put the diaper on him last night at bedtime and that was a hassle (since I just started using them) BUT right after I got it on and went to my bed he started pulling the diaper off (hearing velcro)!! He was wet and wanted to go to bathroom...cleaned him up and put back a new clean pull up since I was running out of energy.
His nurse was the one that suggested to cut off liquids by at least 6 or 630 pm...there have been several days that it works and I get a good nights sleep but not last night!
If he is wet he wants it off!! Even with the liner.
you might try sleeping in a different room - won't work, I tried that! He gets out of bed looking for me. He gets anxiety if I am not in same room as him!
Urinal - no won't work. He is always too late!
Yes I am mainly is sole caregiver - I get 2 afternoons off with a private pay provider and am thankful but evenings are a killer on me!
Thanks everyone for your replies. It is very much appreciated.
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Ahmijoy Aug 2018
Just a suggestion— if he’s missing the toilet, get a urinal and hold it for him. I know from experience that after a while you get pretty good at it. And I wonder if those meds are making him feel like he has to go. How heavy are the briefs when you change them? Hubby’s are really heavy.

Finally, I wonder if your husband might benefit from an anti-anxiety medication. He sounds really anxious about the toilet issue.

Keep us updated on how it’s going. We care.
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This can be related to "nocturia" which is the urge to urinate many times a night. I typically run into it with my calls from folks with Parkinsons (60% of them have it). Often the wife (usually) is getting up close to 10 times a night to help their spouse get in/out of bed (or reposition in bed) and are ready to crash. Every person needs the quality sleep that comes from REM stage sleep- and if a person is getting woke up often they never get to that "deep sleep". Helping a person get up (or changing Depends or handling a urinal) all disrupts the sleep cycle. A urinal spill or changing the bedding adds a lot more work. Often people will put a bedside commode next to a SuperPole or balance pole of a Friendly Bed. If a person can use the equipment to safely/independently stand/pivot onto commode, do their business, and pivot back into bed why would a spouse need to wake up? Plus if a person never has to let go of a sturdy pole how can they fall? Walks to the bathroom (when sleepy, weak, medicated, and in the dark) is very dangerous- especially if many times a night. I don't know if this suggestion applies in your case as it needs a person to be mentally cognizant of their surroundings- not a fit if a person is in deep dementia/alz. Lots of good suggestions were offered but sometimes assistive products can be the missing piece of the puzzle for safely and quality of life (and sleep). Always happy to offer suggestions.
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ask doctor if it’s ok to give him Saw Palmetto. It’s an herbal supplement that many men with an enlarged prostate take and find it makes a significant difference in the frequency of urination.
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I am not sure I know the answer but I do know this. You MUST GET YOUR SLEEP AND YOU CANNOT CONTINUE TO KEEP GETTING UP or something is going to happen to YOU. I don't know his mental state but for a start, you can FIRMLY tell him he MUST wear diapers and get the kind that he won't feel the wetness. They are out there. Another idea, money permitting, is to get someone to care for him during the night hours. As to getting out of bed if you can't solve it any other way, please look into renting a hospital bed with bars so he can't get out and fall or have some accident. Finally, if nothing works, it may be time to place him. Sad but true. You are only human and you have YOUR life to live now.
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