With my 92 year old mother, whom I love dearly, every day, all day. She is confused a lot of the time, but otherwise amazingly physically healthy, except for some glaucoma related loss of peripheral vision. Having trouble not getting frustrated with her confusion and her need for me to straighten her out all the time. It feels like she is taking over my brain, and gets very hard for me to function; to think about and do the things I need to do. I hate getting impatient with her, I know she can't help it. But its hard to use your own brain when someone else is always in it !!!!!
In her mind, she is not confused.
She cannot enter your brain, and you CANNOT enter hers. You don’t need to try to “straighten her out all the time” because she can’t be straightened out. Her mind no longer shares your map. Think of your interactions as parallel roads that will never intersect. If she is willing to listen to you, tell her stories about news events, family members, anything that interests her.
If she is able to initiate comments, let them go if she’s comfortable offering them. Be comfortably and pleasantly silent and let her talk. You don’t have to answer or interpret or correct.
If she is sometimes quiet and peaceful, it’s OK to let her be.
I mourn frequently about the loss of my LO’s razor sharp comments about the world when she was well, and I’d give anything to have that back, but as long as she’s safe and peaceful and I respect and love her, I’m doing what she needs.
My own cognition has really suffered since I started caretaking so I understand your frustration.
My mom is physically in pretty good condition as well, but often confused. It's a difficult situation to be in isn't it?
Too bad there wasn't a way to recharge patience banks somehow! My is depleted.
There is always respite care or placing her in a facility. It gets worse, so even if you think you can handle it at this point, you may still want to look for a facility for when things are really bad. It's tough, I know.