My family and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster since my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. I think I have known for a while since he has been declining over the years, but getting the final diagnosis has taken a toll on me. I am a new father of a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old, and my emotions are taking me all over the place. Knowing that he will eventually forget who they are is breaking my heart. How do I deal with so much sorrow and all that philosophical ideology that weighs me down?
I tried to write a song to express my feelings, and it has helped a little, but I feel so lost still...
https://youtu.be/seMk3Xks6Z0
I am sorry to hear of your dad's diagnosis. The diagnosis of AD is a life changing event not only for your dad but for the family. You ask “how does one cope?”, I can't answer that. Each family must find their own way of dealing with the disease.
Nothing will ease the difficulty and range of emotions you'll go thru in the future, but you can ameliorate some of them by planning ahead and trying to anticipate as much as possible. AD manifests itself differently in all patients and all caregiver experiences are different also.
But there are some ways to better prepare for what's to come. As cwillie said educate yourself about the disease and learn how it progresses. There are many resources available to help you. Go to YouTube and search for “Teepa Snow” and “dementia careblazers”. These videos can show you some practical aspects of caregiving. Many books are available also. “Learning to Speak Alzheimer's” and “The 36 Hour Day” are excellent. Your library may carry them or you can buy them at Amazon. You might also want to research the phrase “anticipatory grief”. It's the emotional roller coaster one goes thru in anticipation of a loved one's death. Google “FAST stages” to help you better understand the progression of the disease.
In the early stages of the disease allow your dad to be as independent as he possibly can. Loss of independence is very embarrassing and demeaning to someone with AD. Don't intervene until you absolutely must. He can still live a good life.
Additionally, while your dad has just been diagnosed and still retains much of his faculties, make sure he has his important documents in order. If he hasn't prepared them, now is the time. Such things as assigning a POA both for financial and healthcare and having a will and a living will so his wishes are known are all vital documents. An elder care attorney care complete all of those for you.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVl8vTLjje8ESAEvpjVoVTEK-_6X2jTdl
While there are no “cures” yet for this condition, you will be likely to find during the course of your father’s treatment that there will be many bright spots along with the dark ones.
My LO has surprised us more than once by asking amazingly cogent questions about her great, great grandnephew (my grandson), who visited her often before the lockdowns.
Get to work on your research into the field of Music Therapy, prepare a small album of photos of those beautiful babies for their grandpa, and add to the album as the babies grow.
You can actually do a lot more right now besides worrying, and you yourself will hopefully be surprised by how much YOU can learn!
I don't mean to sound harsh or dismissive. Diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease in a person of only 72 IS very hard to hear, and WILL take all of you on an emotional rollercoaster. But meanwhile there is time to make the most of your father's remaining abilities - don't waste it on dreading the future.