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My neighbor and friend, an 83 year old widow, compassionately opened her small two bedroom condo to her son, his drug addicted wife, two year old, four year old, 7 and ten year old. The son gets a disability check, the wife is unemployed and my friend has only social security to live on. She managed just fine on her own but now that there are kids crying all night, and the adults contributing nothing to their upkeep or even attempting to find low rent housing or jobs and using my friend as a maid. She has become ill, lost weight and is emotionally overwhelmed. She has begged them to leave with no results. Other family members will not get involved. What recourse does she have? She has a reverse mortgage which has rules and regulations about her leaving the home. Can she have them evicted through some free legal agency? All the neighbors who have known her for over years are concerned. Should this be reported to elder abuse? Thanks for any suggestions. Judy

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Has this been reported to Child Welfare? Would they approve of the living conditions for the children?
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Nutty is as nutty does, eh. Perhaps mr. Moocher is copying the fine example of 85 year old la. X governor who just got released from jail, married a thirty something and now has a toddler. Whatever happened to dignity and self respect?
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Just a thought...if son is not paying Mom for rent and/or utilities than can u evict? Eviction may be based on a lease where rent is to be paid and isn"t. If Mom is on drugs, than maybe foster care would be better for the kids. And...what is a man 62 doing with 4 kids 10 and under. Nuts.
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This is a sticky situation. I would see if there is some free legal advise or u pay on sliding scale. This 83 yr olds rights have to be protected. She probably thought her family would be there a short time. I really am surprised the condo assoc doesn't have rules about occupancy there r laws. Where I live a child over a year old can no longer share a room with parents. At certain ages, boys and girls have to be separated. So, if all the kids can sleep together another another room is needed. If by law the girl needs a room, that makes 4 bedrooms needed. GM should not have to share her room. Yes, something needs to be done but be careful.
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Just checked on condo rules and none address hi density living. There seems to a fear of violating some law about refusing to rent to entire families (even though she and the reverse mortgage company own the place). Since she invited them into her home as a place to stay till they found housing (although it's hard to find housing when you don't look) she may be responsible for the mess she is in. Getting to a pro bono lawyer may be the first step. Thanks for your suggestions. Also wondering if she told her doctor about her situation, and the doc being a mandated reporter, she might get some help with out neighbors getting involved. She has already told me that son become irrationally irate when she mentioned that the neighbors were complaining about the noise. sigh....prayers for all. sauerkraut...
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If APS is called and the woman in question reports that she is being abused, the agency should take the lead in forcing the squatters to leave.
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There has to be a better way of this elderly Mom to convince her son and his family to move out or to help with the cost then evicting them. She might be afraid that she will never see her grandchildren again if she does that. It would be so much better if a third party would be the "bad guy" in this situation.
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If reported to the condo association, Grandma could be fined or evicted, depending on her lease agreement. If reported to CPS, she could have to answer for her part in this. Eviction here is handled at the small claims court within the township. Some of ours here are helpful and might help her with the forms, tho I'm pretty sure there's a small filing fee. After filing, I believe the 'tenant's have to be served (easy enough, though they'll undoubtedly be upset), and then the clock starts the 30-day process for them to leave the premises or appeal.
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I think one of the things CPS would be interested in is the 10 year old and his/her gender, sleeping with younger children and an older woman.

But the grandmother is also at risk. I think someone needs to make some calls, tomorrow. If your friend is uncomfortable reporting her family, you or one of the other neighbors can make the calls, anonymously.
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sauerkraut, check withe County/City or Town Zoning office as to how many people can occupy a two bedroom condo.

Oh my gosh, Grandmother is sharing a bed with 3 children? And kids are germ magnets coming home from school with colds, etc. She better get her flu shot soon.

Who buys the groceries? If she does, and the family doesn't pitch in to pay, then she should only get limited things for them. Just salads for dinners and yogurt for lunch will make some families pack up and leave :) No chips, no ice cream, basic cereal [Puff Wheat or Puff Rice] for the kids. No sodas. If the family wants something else, they need to go out and buy it !!

Some times tough love is the only way to make a family wake up and learn to be on their own.
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Sauerkraut I bet the child protection services would have something to say about three children of mixed ages sharing a bed with their grandmother. I should open this investigation up on both fronts - vulnerable elders and vulnerable children. Nightmare. I do wish you the best of luck with getting someone to take notice.
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Thanks, I hadn't thought about the health issue but my friend has been sleeping with three kids in bed with her every night. She now has cough and cold. Unfortunately condo rules do not address number of people per unit. Perhaps its time to do that but wouldn't they get grandfathered in.
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I agree with GardenArtist about the total number of people who can occupy a two bedroom condo. I know in my area, it's two people per bedroom. I hope your friend isn't sharing her bedroom with her grandchildren.

One positive note, the Grandmother is bringing a more stable environment to her grandchildren, but at 83 she shouldn't be doing all the work, and using up her funds to feed her adult son and his family.

She needs to stop enabling them. She needs to put her foot down and say she can no longer financially carry them, her money is running out.
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Yes, report the family to APS but also contact the police for advice on eviction, which is probably what she'll have to do to get them out of the condo.

If they can't put her in touch with an attorney who'll institute the eviction process, call the local county or state Bar Association and search for "pro bono" attorneys.

Sometimes local law schools offer this kind of assistance as well.

You might also contact the condo association and ask about limitations on the number of people living in a small condo. The By-Laws and/or condo standards (usually recorded with the local register of deeds or similar county department) may prevent so many people living in a small area.

With that many people, I'm wondering about the cleanliness and health standards in the condo. That might be an issue that not only affects your friend but violates condo association standards as well.

And it may be that the neighbors need to file complaints against the family, not only for abusing your friend, but for the negative effect on the condo b/c of too many people in one living space.

Good luck. It's so sad that your friend was generous but that the sponging family is abusing and exploiting that generosity.
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