Follow
Share

My mom, 94, is beginning to act passive and helpless after being fairly independent for most of her life. I can NOT be her POA, though I am her Medical person for decisions. I’m ok with that, but not finances. I don't think any other family member will do it either. Her cognitive skills are excellent so far, but I know she ought to plan for this.
Thanks in advance.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

2 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Is she living in her own home? Are you her Medical PoA? That's who can legally make medical decisions for her if she becomes incapacitated. If she becomes incapacitated at the end of her life a Living Will that she fills out now will alleviate the need for you to make any further decisions. That document will be her pre-made decisions and her medical team will be grateful to have the guidance -- she will be in control of how she exits. Otherwise those decisions may go to "next of kin" and if she has more than 1 adult child, treatment decisions may require agreement between them.

She can assign Financial PoA to an attorney if she is still of sound mind. I'm not quite sure what happens if she has a medical PoA and no financial PoA. That would make a challenging task more difficult. If no PoA is assigned, the county will eventually become her guardian and will assume all responsibilities but it will be a train wreck before coming to that point.

If she seems more passive and helpless lately she is most likely experiencing a cognitive or physical issue. Maybe there are other options for her so hoping others will post their insights for you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Nancymc avatar
N
Nancymc Nov 2020
She is in Indep Living. Was told when she moved there (one year ago) that they recommend every client there assign a legal POA, just “in case.” I said NO to taking this on back then. As mentioned above, I’m willing to be medical POA, and that’s all been arranged.
I advised my sister, only other family, to look into this with her. She lives out of state. Sis didn’t sound excited at the prospect, but has not said a definite no.
My mom is depressed, and has a history of denial and passivity. She’s done nothing to address the issue of POA. Family dynamics are dysfunctional. I think she hopes I’ll just take it over when the need arises. Of note, her will is made, with all remaining assets to go to my sister. In past they found me to be a poor money manager. Nowadays, I really struggle to stay on top of my own finances, planning, and life management, because of my own physical and emotional issues.
(2)
Report
Nancy, your Mom could hire an Accountant or CPA to handle her finances, if that is within her budget.

It's a tough situation. If I found myself in that situation, since I have no siblings nor children, and the cousins that I knew well are older then me and live out of state, I probably would ask my Elder Law Attorney for suggestions, or hire my CPA.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Isthisrealyreal avatar
I
Isthisrealyreal Nov 2020
My certified elder law attorney has fiduciaries in his office and we named him as our secondary POA, with the stipulation that he can utilize a professional fiduciary to handle our affairs. It guarantees that we are represented even if something happens to him.

It is a great way to have your wishes honored because they go only by your written end of life documents and not feelings.
(2)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter