Follow
Share

Mom (91) has moved in with me. I will soon be leaving my job to care for her full time and the 3 of us (me, mom and husband) will be moving to Florida. I will be her full time care giver. Can a Personal Care Agreement be written up for me to be paid for her care? If we have one in place can I also hire someone for a few hours a week to give me a break rather than 24/7 care from me?

Find Care & Housing
Do you know of any job where the employee works 24/7? That is 168 hours a week.

I know it's your Mom but if you were paid a minimum of $10 an hour that equals $1680 a week, $6720 a month. That is what I pay for my mother's memory care facility where the employees work 8 hour days.

We don’t know your mother's mental or physical status but have you considered what your life is going to be like if she has a decline, can’t be left alone, is a fall risk but insists on getting out of bed at night? I suggest you start lining up in-home help ASAP.

And Kudos for wanting your Mom to live with you. I know I couldn’t do it, my Mom and I are very different people.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Frances73
Report

Imho, you should probably seek out an attorney. Prayers sent.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Llamalover47
Report

I just contacted my attorney yesterday about this. Please contact an elder law attorney. Also, remember, if you pay yourself you need to claim it on your taxes or Medicaid will look at it as a gift.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to PaniniSandwich
Report

I suppose an attorney is the only way to avoid confusion. These situations can become confusing or seem complicated.

Write all your questions down with any additional concerns that you may have. Ask a professional to receive the most proficient answer.

Best wishes to you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report

Many conflicting suggestions here. Years of experience recommend you get the care agreement ( and pay yourself a generous amount)and an agreement for her to split/pay housing expenses (like a roommate, including utilities, food, insurance etc.). Charging her "rent" will lead to tax and property selling nightmares. Most people are unfamiliar with the difference between Medicare and Medicaid. Medicaid is for when you literally run out of all money but are still alive. Her funds can not be given away etc for a certain number of YEARS before she runs out ( she can not just gift you a large check and 6 months later apply for Medicaid, you would have to pay it back). By all means see an attorney, she should pay that expense in my opinion. Bless you for taking this on, I tried and my mom is sweet and compliant, but at 70 I could no longer manage. It also strained our marriage as we did not have the freedom to enjoy our retirement. She is now in a memory care facility and going on her 17th month of hospice. We joke that she is going to out live us! And PS she is paying $10,000 per month, money she always wanted to save for her great grandkids college, but we are grateful she has it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to GrandmaC
Report
FloridaDD Oct 2, 2020
There is a difference between charging rent (at FMV) and sharing expenses, as one with do with a roommate.  The former is taxable income (but you are allowed depreciation), the former is not taxable, but is based on sharing expenses.
(1)
Report
Seek an Elder Law Attorney in Florida. Each state has different laws. Mother and I were living in FL when I was her caregiver and needed everything to be done correctly. The Elder Law Attorney actually saved me a lot of money because she knew of things that I didn’t. It was all drawn up legally so I never needed to worry about any of it at anytime. Where in FL will you be?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Marylepete
Report
dgcctoth Oct 7, 2020
Kissimmee area. I have already reached out to an elder law attorney in that area. Thank you
(0)
Report
See an eldercare attorney to draw up a caregiver's contract. but you will have to pay taxes as it should be since she will be your employer. See a tax specialist for that to set up a corporation which will give you more tax breaks.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to cetude
Report

I (finally) convinced my dad to contact an elder care lawyer. Part of this was to inquire about this issue—I foolishly just showed up to help with many assumptions based on emotions !

The lawyer suggested we have an independent “needs assessment” done. How I wish I had insisted on this before I gave up my career to come to provide 24/7 care that isn’t really needed!

Certainly a GREAT idea to go into this informed by facts and not emotion/assumptions/obligation.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Omobowale
Report
Isthisrealyreal Oct 2, 2020
Hopefully you have rejoined the work force and left your dad to deal with his life.

I don't think that it is ever a good decision to leave ones own career to help a parent, it has to many long term consequences. If they need 24/7 they need to be in a facility.
(0)
Report
Yes! Please get a lawyer to draw up the agreement; he/she knows the rules for their state and can point out issues to discuss and get agreement on.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Taarna
Report

Absolutely! Work with an elder lawyer. We did this and it gives me the freedom to have someone come in. Certainly still very difficult way of life so prepare yourself. Remember though that it will have to be claimed as income for taxes which is a shame.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Marshover
Report

Yes
If your mother is able to sign a agreement with a lawyer stamped and notarized, then your mother can reimbursed you for taking care of her. If she has Alzheimer's dementia, or other health conditions that effects her ability to decide, then you need to have Durable Power Of Attorney to make financial discussions for her. You can contact a elderly court lawyer they will have better ideas, and changes that will fit your situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to PussJr
Report

A Personal Care Agreement is easily drawn up between you, listing all Services you are going to provide and with the Person receiving the Care, stating the amount of money to be paid.

Both Sign It and ya'll can even have it notarized at your Bank for Free.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to bevthegreat
Report

I'm in the middle of filling out the care contract and timesheets for my mother's care for DHHS via an elder lawyer. It's tricky to get back pay because this wasn't in place when I first started doing the work. If she's going to need medicaid, then the money given to you as payment needs to be documented in order for it to not be counted as "gifting" which will incur a penalty period for her to have to go through before she can be eligible. The contract and timesheets characterize that money as payment and as long as it's within the limits of what DHHS considers "reasonable", they'll accept it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to covidfornow
Report

I would seek the advice of a Medicaid attorney BEFORE you start exchanging money and writing contracts to be sure you have all your bases covered should your mother need to go into a nursing home.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to ArtMom58
Report

Real,

So in your opinion should she have everything set up in one contract, such as one caregiver contract that specifies rent to be included or are there any advantages to having separate contracts of each, the caregiver and a rental agreement?

I am just so happy that she is taking care of this now. She’s smart!
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report
Isthisrealyreal Sep 29, 2020
I don't think that a rental agreement is smart in the least. Please read what I wrote.
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
dgc, ask the attorney the best way to set this up to ensure that you are not getting nailed for unnecessary taxes, rental agreement is taxable income, share of costs is not, equals the same end result but one wording generates a tax liability for you and in my state you have to collect and pay rental taxes, meaning you have to have a license and.....see where that can go?

A personal care contract will be taxable to you, but unavoidable if you want to be sure that she would qualify for Medicaid if it was ever required.

Make sure that she is paying her way in full, all groceries, supplies, insurance, property taxes, vehicle expenses, utilities, mortgage or rent, home maintenance, lawn service, housekeeper, everything is legitimate for share of costs and you can charge her more if she has specific equipment needed that increases your utilities, that expense can be hers 100%.

A good attorney will be able to help you set this up legally and word it to cross state lines.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Report

Thanks. I have a local lawyer. I'm going to reach out and see if I can get general information to get things done now then get more state specific things done once we move. Right now she's mostly competent, just lonely and wants attention. But I agree I need to take care of this now instead of when her health declines.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to dgcctoth
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Sep 29, 2020
Ask your attorney if he feels you should have both, rent and caregiver agreement.

I didn’t even have a written contract with my mom. It was a casual verbal agreement years after living with us which she paid a very small contribution to our household. I would do it differently if I could turn back time.

You are being smart facing this now! I let my emotions get the best of me early on. I had a complicated situation.
(0)
Report
An attorney has all the proper forms to fill out. An agreement is made and it’s put in writing. It should be fairly straight forward.

I commend you on doing this. I did not do it in the beginning and it is harder to establish later.

I would at least discuss it now so there will not be any questions six months from now.

Of course, take breaks. No one can be there for someone 24/7. Discuss everything so there are no surprises later on.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report

I have a rental agreement in place I was just wondering if the Personal Care Agreement would be a better option. I plan on consulting a lawyer once we move but that won't be for another 6 months. Just looking for some general information to start. Thanks
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to dgcctoth
Report

Make an agreement now going into it. Don’t wait to do it. It will be harder to establish the longer that you wait. It is best done from the beginning.

Best wishes to you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report
FloridaDD Sep 29, 2020
I think OP is/will be moving, and wants a lawyer in the jurisdiction she will be moving to.   I agree with you concern, get it done ASAP in case mom becomes incompentent
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
You can, but I would get a Lawyer involved who is versed in Medicaid. If she may need Medicaid in the future, she needs all her Ts crossed and Is dotted.

Someone on the Forum has mentioned that its easier to charge the person rent then to be paid as a caregiver. That too will need an agreement.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter