Could you give us more detail about your and her situation? Does she live alone? Does she live with you? What are her health issues? Can she afford to pay to be in a facility? Has she been assessed as needing to be in an NH or wou'd she be a better fit for another type if facility? More information will help people give you better responses.
I see your name "Bouttolosemind". (((((hugs)))) to you. BTDT. I am sure there are some answers to help you.
Ah, I feel for you. Many here are in a similar situation - parent developing dementia, living in an unsafe environment, not caring properly for themselves, completely stubborn about making and changes, or even about accepting help. Child(ren)/caregivers overwhelmed.
In some cases, people have had to wait for the "big event" - a fall, a health crisis, to get them into hospital, then talk to the discharge worker about their parent's unsafe living conditions, and also state firmly that they (the children) cannot take their parent into their own home as the burden of care is too great. This is very nerve wracking but if parents are too stubborn it may be the only course of action. If you look around the site you will see threads about just this. Windyridge just went through this as did September607. here are links to their stories.
Alternately, you could contact your local Agency for Aging and also Social Services to see what options you have. APS (adult protective services) could be alerted at she is a vulnerable senior if you are comfortable with going that route.
It would be a good to take the pictures with you to the Agency for Aging and to Social Services to give them an idea about what you are dealing with. It sounds like someone needs to intervene.
Another thing you can do is document your concerns about her and take them and the pictures to her doctor and share them with him/her. If you do not have HIPAA the dr cannot give you information, but that does not stop you from giving information to the doctor.
You should have POA financial and health, if you don't have it already, but many seniors will not give it. Does your mum have a trusted attorney, pastor or other professional person or friend who could approach her about getting this done? If she has a stroke or other health crisis she may not be able to make decisions for herself. Telling her that is what convicned my mother to give it to me.
If your mum does not have funds for a facility, you should be looking into medicaid for her as well.
Let us know how you are and how things work out. I know this is a huge worry and responsibility for you. (((((((hugs))))))
Diabetes, congestive heart failure, dementia. She lives alone and is a hoarder. We dont know what first step is.... calling dss? W habe been teeing to help last few years and it is just to much for us to handle anymore. She lives on acreage has thrre cats and a horse. She fights us every move. I have pictures of the home if that would help. She eats way to much sugars, spends to much money and unless we check on her at least twice a day doesn't take meds.
POA won't work for mental illness. I had to get guardianship. It's expensive because you hire an attorney and go to court you can be reimbursed from her estate though. this is what I had to do it's so hard to do but it only gets worse
I see your name "Bouttolosemind". (((((hugs)))) to you. BTDT. I am sure there are some answers to help you.
In some cases, people have had to wait for the "big event" - a fall, a health crisis, to get them into hospital, then talk to the discharge worker about their parent's unsafe living conditions, and also state firmly that they (the children) cannot take their parent into their own home as the burden of care is too great. This is very nerve wracking but if parents are too stubborn it may be the only course of action. If you look around the site you will see threads about just this. Windyridge just went through this as did September607. here are links to their stories.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/big-news-finally-got-folks-into-care-434122.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-parents-are-both-76-and-went-down-hill-this-past-november-how-do-i-get-them-to-skilled-nursing-434440.htm
Alternately, you could contact your local Agency for Aging and also Social Services to see what options you have. APS (adult protective services) could be alerted at she is a vulnerable senior if you are comfortable with going that route.
It would be a good to take the pictures with you to the Agency for Aging and to Social Services to give them an idea about what you are dealing with. It sounds like someone needs to intervene.
Another thing you can do is document your concerns about her and take them and the pictures to her doctor and share them with him/her. If you do not have HIPAA the dr cannot give you information, but that does not stop you from giving information to the doctor.
You should have POA financial and health, if you don't have it already, but many seniors will not give it. Does your mum have a trusted attorney, pastor or other professional person or friend who could approach her about getting this done? If she has a stroke or other health crisis she may not be able to make decisions for herself. Telling her that is what convicned my mother to give it to me.
If your mum does not have funds for a facility, you should be looking into medicaid for her as well.
Let us know how you are and how things work out. I know this is a huge worry and responsibility for you. (((((((hugs))))))