How do you pretend to be happy, when you're living with a cold-blooded, heartless person under one roof?

My MIL fills this bill.

I have absolutely nothing to do with her, I don't call her, visit her, even think about her, really.

People (including family) think it's all on me. I'M the one who should work harder to be nice. 44 years of working hard and she still openly tells me "I hate you, I have hated you since B brought you home to meet us."

WHY should I put myself in that position? I do NOT need her toxicity.

Staying with people who are so angry, sick, whatever, is simply asking for more of the same behavior. My DH has to deal with his mother and he has begged me, offered me money, anything, to go with him to her home. My answer is no and will be no until she's laid out in her casket.

Does that make me cold? No, not at all. I am self preserving. I am currently treating for cancer with chemotherapy and I feel rotten every day. What did this lovely lady say to me about the cancer? Nothing. not a word. Not even "I hope you die" which at least, would be honest.

I couldn't do it, either I or them would have to move. At the age of 72, I do not need any toxic people in my life.

i have lived with my aunt half my life, after my parents passed on she just changed and started calling me names , labeling. She sulks and snaps at me for no reason. when she is happy i should be too same applies when she is mad. She does things for herself and forgets about us, leading me to hustle. when there is an elderly who can support and help me.

Welcome, Ashanti! We're happy you're here, though I'm sorry you have a need.

Could you provide more information (like Ahmijoy above, whatever you can tell us).

One thing I can tell you is there are many of us who have been (or still are) in the same position you are. I thankfullly found this site at one of the lowest points in my life, and the good folks here helped me more than I can express. You can find comfort here knowing you're not alone (sadly).

Welcome!

Seems you have the same problem a lot of us have. We call them Narcissists and a number of the members have parents and family that fit this description. And it seems that the one taking care of them is the child they know they can intimidate.

For you it may be a cultural thing. Here in the US we have options but sometimes those options are not available, usually because not enough money, and the caregiver is "stuck" taking care of a person who is hard to care for. Some have taken a parent in only to find it was a big mistake. Parent has no money and is with it mentally so you can't force them to leave.

Boundries is the main thing. And there will be members who can help u with this.

Welcome, Ashanti. Would it be possible for you to give us more information? As much as you are comfortable sharing. And, welcome to our forum.