My mother from the time I can remember being a small child has screamed, yelled and been physically abusive. She used to throw phonebook and scream at my father till he would break. She is jealous and was jealous of my relationship I had with my dad. I was an only child, and my dad did everything to protect me starting at a young age from her. She would leave me at the dinner table for sometimes 8 hours or longer, and tell me I had to sit there. She threatened to leave me on the side of the road in remote areas, while traveling with my dad and mom. She had her uncle try and sexually molested me at 6. Refused to believe me and tell me I was a liar. She would trip me on purpose once breaking my ear drum. Many things those were things before I was 5. My father wanted out but told me he was afraid of me having to live with her and not him. She refused to work. He knew his daughter would end up on every stranger's couch that would let her in. He stuck it out. He sadly passed away at 57 and I was 23. He had a brain tumor. She took him in the car and had him drugged with several morphine patches, he passed away while she was in a dinner having dinner with another man. She took him from hospice and we had no idea where she was with him till the police were able to call me when they found him. Sadly she was not charged it was ruled that the tumor killed him not the exposure or the drugs in his system. She did this so I couldn't say goodbye. She admitted it. Because I was an only child she immediately came to live with me. She would lie, scream, and cause problems when she didn't get her way. She married several times, all relationships ended due to her abusive behavior. She went as far as marrying her second husband's son so she didn't have to live alone.

Me being 47 now with grown wonderful children of my own, it's still very tough. None of my kids will have anything to do with her. She again lives with me and tells me I'm abusive and just like my father. I know she has dementia, due to the crazy things she does. She invents things that didn't happen. And she tells the neighbors and family I hold her hostage. She's called the police, they just try and calm her down realizing she is elderly. She drives and can't see well. All these things are factors and she burned every bridge with every family member because of her behavior. I've called nursing homes and she refuses to talk to anyone because she says she doesn't have any problems.

She always says she is a victim of abuse, she always says everyone is mean.

Many of these events that happened in my past I do not talk about. I don't want to bother my kids with it or have them think of her differently. I do believe I need not say much, they are smart and will make their own opinions.

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I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Boundaries are something your mother never learned. But you don't have to let that be your legacy. You can stop it. You have our support.
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Reply to Segoline

I think your Mom has been mentally ill for years. I really can't believe you have ever allowed this abusive person to live with you at all. Really sorry about Dad. Sorry about the abuse with Mom.

Do you have POA. Have Mom evaluated with a Psychiatrist versed in the elderly. There may be meds to calm her down. I would put her in LTC. You owe this woman nothing.
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Reply to JoAnn29
Copingwithmom Feb 27, 2019
Yes, I do believe it. I know she has always been crazy. She's very crazy at guilt trips too.
I have been told this, believe it or not by her own therapist.
I guess I just feel bad I'm the only child. But yes for my own sanity enough is enough.
Im calling nursing home facilities today.
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Reply to Copingwithmom

You will never make her realize that. She sounds like a terror. I am so sorry for all you have had to endure and continue to have to. I think you should get her out of your life. Can you hire an elder care lawyer? 47 years is beyond enough. She should not remain your responsibility. She has done nothing to deserve any care from you. I think you have to find any and all methods possible to free yourself. She will never change. You must move on for your sanity. This may seem extreme but she sounds like one of the worse mothers I have ever heard of and totally undeserving of your involvement in her life.
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Reply to Riverdale

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