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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Marykathryn, welcome to the forum. What I did for my Dad, who was having the same issues with finances, was having him move to senior living where he was in the Independent section, he had a lovely 2 bedroom apartment with full size kitchen, living room, and bath. He was so glad to get away from his home as he knew it was just too much for him.
Dad used the equity from the sale of his house to help pay the rent, which at that time (a decade ago) was $5k-$6k per month, which included weekly cleaning and linen service, plus meals, etc. Dad didn't need to worry about a mortgage or other finance issues ever again. Then later Dad moved to the facilities memory care.
Regarding paying Dad's bills, I had the bank put me on his checking and savings account as co-signer. That way I could easily pay his rent at the senior facility, his credit card, etc. I kept careful records in case Dad needed Medicaid help later down the road.
Generally speaking, people wait too long to give up living at home. "Too long" is when a disaster happens, such as they wander down the street and poop in a neighbor's yard. Or go to their bank and withdraw $10,000 to give to a scammer. Or sit in the car for an hour trying to figure out how to start it. At the food store. At night.
You cannot imagine all the things that can happen because you only see what she cannot hide, such as confusion about mortgage payments. It's best to plan ahead because one day she's taking out the garbage on schedule and the next day she's playing with the garbage and leaving it to rot on the kitchen floor. Yes, things take a turn for the worse very quickly.
Also, you might think it's okay to plan on assisted living, but it's more likely that she'll need memory care. The facility evaluates and recommends the level of care she needs. My husband is in memory care now, and one of his friends there seems fine because his speech is good and he manages to feed himself normally. Yet the next thing you know, he's in Brenda's room peeing into the AC unit.
Elders with dementia are fine by themselves until they aren't fine and then the house burns down or gets flooded, or worse yet, she asphixiates herself mixing ammonia with bleach to clean the toilet.
You know it's time for managed care when she displays confusion and can no longer manage life.
This is a perfect way to phrase this.. they are fine until they aren't fine. the problem is you don't know when that point is until sometimes it is to late.
Ask these questions.... Is she safe living alone? Is there a possibility that she might leave the stove on or the water and leave the house? Is there a possibility that she might let someone in thinking they are from the Gas Company, Electric Company, or any other "professional"? Is she a fall risk? If she fell how long would it take for either her to get help or for someone to find her?
Now I have to say any of us could leave the water on, the stove on, you hear things in the news about someone being robbed or killed because they let someone in. Any of us could fall at any time. So now that I have muddied those waters.... A few more questions for YOU How much are YOU doing to help her so that she can keep her "independence"? If you are helping her pay all her bills.. If you are driving her to appointments because she either no longer drives or you do not think she should drive... If you are helping her clean the house, do yard work, do other things a round the house that she can no longer do... Then yes it is time for her to move to a facility that will be able to meet her care needs. Now that leads to where.... If there is a possibility she would wander then she should be in Memory Care not AL. If there is a possibility that she would need to apply for Medicaid then select a place that accepts Medicaid so you will not have to move her later. Generally a facility that accepts Medicaid would like a resident to be "private pay" for a year or two before Medicaid is applied for.
the other important thing to do is to get a diagnosis as to what is really going on there are other things that can cause dementia like symptoms. Good to get those ruled out and an accurate diagnosis. And I should ask this... Are you her POA? If you do not have the legal paperwork it might be a good idea for you to get her to an Elder Care attorney on one of those "good days"
Is this the only memory problem your mom is having? If she can still take care of herself otherwise (for example, prepare simple meals, get around her home, get dressed appropriately, do appropriate personal hygiene, do simple housekeeping), assisted living probably isn't necessary. Someone should be helping your mom with her financial chores, whether she's in her own home or moves to an assisted-living facility. Has she created a financial power of attorney and, if yes, is it activated?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Dad used the equity from the sale of his house to help pay the rent, which at that time (a decade ago) was $5k-$6k per month, which included weekly cleaning and linen service, plus meals, etc. Dad didn't need to worry about a mortgage or other finance issues ever again. Then later Dad moved to the facilities memory care.
Regarding paying Dad's bills, I had the bank put me on his checking and savings account as co-signer. That way I could easily pay his rent at the senior facility, his credit card, etc. I kept careful records in case Dad needed Medicaid help later down the road.
You cannot imagine all the things that can happen because you only see what she cannot hide, such as confusion about mortgage payments. It's best to plan ahead because one day she's taking out the garbage on schedule and the next day she's playing with the garbage and leaving it to rot on the kitchen floor. Yes, things take a turn for the worse very quickly.
Also, you might think it's okay to plan on assisted living, but it's more likely that she'll need memory care. The facility evaluates and recommends the level of care she needs. My husband is in memory care now, and one of his friends there seems fine because his speech is good and he manages to feed himself normally. Yet the next thing you know, he's in Brenda's room peeing into the AC unit.
Good luck in finding the best care for mom.
You know it's time for managed care when she displays confusion and can no longer manage life.
they are fine until they aren't fine.
the problem is you don't know when that point is until sometimes it is to late.
Is she safe living alone?
Is there a possibility that she might leave the stove on or the water and leave the house?
Is there a possibility that she might let someone in thinking they are from the Gas Company, Electric Company, or any other "professional"?
Is she a fall risk? If she fell how long would it take for either her to get help or for someone to find her?
Now I have to say any of us could leave the water on, the stove on, you hear things in the news about someone being robbed or killed because they let someone in. Any of us could fall at any time.
So now that I have muddied those waters....
A few more questions for YOU
How much are YOU doing to help her so that she can keep her "independence"?
If you are helping her pay all her bills..
If you are driving her to appointments because she either no longer drives or you do not think she should drive...
If you are helping her clean the house, do yard work, do other things a round the house that she can no longer do...
Then yes it is time for her to move to a facility that will be able to meet her care needs.
Now that leads to where....
If there is a possibility she would wander then she should be in Memory Care not AL.
If there is a possibility that she would need to apply for Medicaid then select a place that accepts Medicaid so you will not have to move her later. Generally a facility that accepts Medicaid would like a resident to be "private pay" for a year or two before Medicaid is applied for.
the other important thing to do is to get a diagnosis as to what is really going on there are other things that can cause dementia like symptoms. Good to get those ruled out and an accurate diagnosis.
And I should ask this...
Are you her POA? If you do not have the legal paperwork it might be a good idea for you to get her to an Elder Care attorney on one of those "good days"
Someone should be helping your mom with her financial chores, whether she's in her own home or moves to an assisted-living facility. Has she created a financial power of attorney and, if yes, is it activated?