My mom is 88. Her and my dad live in their own apartment. He has an aide that comes 2 times a day and my granddaughter goes for an hour a day for my mother. Sister goes maybe 2 hours a day. We really wonder if she has dementia. She does not go outside, she only eats 3 things: muffins, breakfast sandwiches and chicken salad. She becomes irritable at least 3 times a week, but its not all the time. We just sometimes wonder if it's really dementia or just old age. How do we know for sure? The Dr thinks it's both, but from what I've read, it doesnt really seem like dementia.
Keeping a daily journal may help to identify the precipitating factors when she becomes irritable.
Here are some ideas;
She could be Sundowning, that is getting anxious as night time gets near.
She could be over-tired or over-stimulated.
It sounds like she likes her routine. Any change in the daily routine can cause anxiety, especially if she has any form of dementia.
She could be uncomfortable. Ask about any pain. Headache, pain in the abdomen, etc. She may not be able to recognize what is wrong.
It took me a Long time to figure out my husband, who is incontinent, would get extremely agitated before a bowel movement. It was uncomfortable, and he had no control, and couldn't express what was bothering him.
Your parents are lucky to have such dedicated family helping them daily.
My mother didn’t really fit what the books said either until she got further along the stages
I am thinking that with her diet with no fresh fruit, vegetables or fiber she may have constipation which can make a person cranky. If she ups her fiber intake be sure to have her drink plenty of water and liquids. I would get bloods levels for vitamins like b12 and vitamin d checked.
If she is not going outside and it does not sound like diet contains any vitamin d, that can contribute to depressive symptoms. B12 can affect cognition, too.
Last, if anyone has POA and needs to use it at some point, you will need a diagnosis from her doctor (unless the power of attorney is durable).
Your Mom can be taken in for her annual free Medicare wellness exam with her primary doctor. At this exam they offer a cognitive test. Make sure she takes it. Also get her to sign the HIPAA form making you her Medical Representative so that her doctor can discuss her private information with you. Make sure to share with her doctor your concerns about her behaviors. I am my Mom's PoA and got her primary to give her a formal diagnosis specifically so that I could begin to act as her agent, particularly with her banks and financial asset companies.
My Aunt with advanced dementia ate the same breakfast and lunch for years. She didn't care and she was still healthy. I would worry less about this. I'm not sure what you think "just old age" is? Maybe you have it conflated with the beginnings of cognitive decline?
She had a previous light stroke and they were able to rule out vascular dementia and lewy body dementia based on the cat scan at hospital after the stroke.
Use every medication follow up appt and 6 month physical appts to continue the cognitive test to see how she is progressing to get an accurate diagnosis.
After my mothers first clock test , the cognitive test were performed at each visit, They varied and became more in depth as her symptoms changed. My mother’s symptoms were subtle at first and now currently mild short term memory loss and she is aware of it. She on medication to slow progression.
The vascular dementia was diagnosed a few years later. Mum had a Cat scan, an EEG and other tests with the neurologist. Nevertheless, she developed vascular dementia because of the cerebral haemorrhage.
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