Follow
Share

My mom is 88. Her and my dad live in their own apartment. He has an aide that comes 2 times a day and my granddaughter goes for an hour a day for my mother. Sister goes maybe 2 hours a day. We really wonder if she has dementia. She does not go outside, she only eats 3 things: muffins, breakfast sandwiches and chicken salad. She becomes irritable at least 3 times a week, but its not all the time. We just sometimes wonder if it's really dementia or just old age. How do we know for sure? The Dr thinks it's both, but from what I've read, it doesnt really seem like dementia.

My mother eats cheese, bread, oatmeal, gallons of diet coke, and an occasional egg. (Although I did find her eating cambpells soup directly from the can the other day, so I guess she spices things up periodically!) I agree with others, I don't think the diagnosis really matters at this point, and that, if you can, this is the time to get the POA and health care proxy if you haven't done so already. Also, if you think the staying inside and irritability may be symptoms of depression, you might want to explore the possibility of medication for that. That said, for the record, I'm 67 and get irritable at least 3 times a week, the world is irritating!
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to DepressedMom
Report
KNance72 Sep 25, 2025
I Have eaten soup directly from the Can : )
(2)
Report
See 2 more replies
"Old age" does not automatically equate with unhealthy behavior or inappropriate choices. Her food choices sound better than some. How is her physical health and physical condition? Is her "irritablility" inappropriate? We all get irritated from time to time. I get irritated with unresponsive customer service ai tape recordings and I am old, but I do not have Dementia.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to RedVanAnnie
Report

Make an appointment with a neruologist
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to firsttimer1
Report

As desperate as I was to understand what was going on I never got a definitive diagnosis from the medical community, in hindsight I'm not sure if it would have made any difference at all. Just live one day at a time because even those who have a diagnosis are individuals whose physical and cognitive abilities can vary greatly
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to cwillie
Report
France1956 Sep 25, 2025
What "definitively" did you get from the doctor? They have to tell you something.
(1)
Report
See 2 more replies
If you want a more definitive diagnosis, you can take her to a neurologist. The primary doctor can make the referral.

Keeping a daily journal may help to identify the precipitating factors when she becomes irritable.
Here are some ideas;
She could be Sundowning, that is getting anxious as night time gets near.
She could be over-tired or over-stimulated.
It sounds like she likes her routine. Any change in the daily routine can cause anxiety, especially if she has any form of dementia.
She could be uncomfortable. Ask about any pain. Headache, pain in the abdomen, etc. She may not be able to recognize what is wrong.
It took me a Long time to figure out my husband, who is incontinent, would get extremely agitated before a bowel movement. It was uncomfortable, and he had no control, and couldn't express what was bothering him.

Your parents are lucky to have such dedicated family helping them daily.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to CaringWifeAZ
Report

Dementia can vary a lot .
My mother didn’t really fit what the books said either until she got further along the stages
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to waytomisery
Report

I think the proper diagnosis is important. There are many health conditions that can contribute to behavior besides or in addition to dementia. Get a referral to a geriatrician or neurologist.
I am thinking that with her diet with no fresh fruit, vegetables or fiber she may have constipation which can make a person cranky. If she ups her fiber intake be sure to have her drink plenty of water and liquids. I would get bloods levels for vitamins like b12 and vitamin d checked.
If she is not going outside and it does not sound like diet contains any vitamin d, that can contribute to depressive symptoms. B12 can affect cognition, too.
Last, if anyone has POA and needs to use it at some point, you will need a diagnosis from her doctor (unless the power of attorney is durable).
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Pjdela
Report

I agree that it may not matter EXCEPT if someone is her PoA and needs a diagnosis in order to activate the authority.

Your Mom can be taken in for her annual free Medicare wellness exam with her primary doctor. At this exam they offer a cognitive test. Make sure she takes it. Also get her to sign the HIPAA form making you her Medical Representative so that her doctor can discuss her private information with you. Make sure to share with her doctor your concerns about her behaviors. I am my Mom's PoA and got her primary to give her a formal diagnosis specifically so that I could begin to act as her agent, particularly with her banks and financial asset companies.

My Aunt with advanced dementia ate the same breakfast and lunch for years. She didn't care and she was still healthy. I would worry less about this. I'm not sure what you think "just old age" is? Maybe you have it conflated with the beginnings of cognitive decline?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

When the next Dr appt is made for your mother, ask for the clock test and let them know the behaviors or symptoms you have noticed . You can call ahead to ask for this. Based on her results they will ask more questions during the visit or go more in depth with cognitive tests along with her recent medical history . You can also write down a list of concerns on a small piece of paper and give to the nurse during the appt to make sure all your concerns are addressed. I was present with my mother to make sure everything was covered .
She had a previous light stroke and they were able to rule out vascular dementia and lewy body dementia based on the cat scan at hospital after the stroke.
Use every medication follow up appt and 6 month physical appts to continue the cognitive test to see how she is progressing to get an accurate diagnosis.
After my mothers first clock test , the cognitive test were performed at each visit, They varied and became more in depth as her symptoms changed. My mother’s symptoms were subtle at first and now currently mild short term memory loss and she is aware of it. She on medication to slow progression.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to SouthernFlower
Report
MiaMoor Sep 26, 2025
Mum's vascular dementia wasn't seen after her major stroke. She had both Cat scans and MRI. I'm not sure what other tests were carried out while she was in hospital (for more than a month) after the infarction.

The vascular dementia was diagnosed a few years later. Mum had a Cat scan, an EEG and other tests with the neurologist. Nevertheless, she developed vascular dementia because of the cerebral haemorrhage.
(1)
Report
She needs to be evaluated by a geriatric neurologist or geriatric psychiatrist. Then you will know what to expect, and they will know how to treat her if there is any suitable treatment. I think it is wise know what she has so as to best care for her.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to golden23
Report

See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter