My older parents have been in and out of the hospital since I was in high school (I'm in my 40s now). I'm an only child with no aunts or uncles. It slowly acclimated to my mom having a stroke and passing away a year later. The home care attendants were in a crime ring and slowly robbed my parents, took loans and after my mom passed away, stole the credit card and bank information. They stole one of the cordless home phones and chargers to call the CC company and bank to ask for more cards, state they were traveling.... I had to piece all of this together with the police investigator's help. The attendants had prior check fraud charges but their attendant agency that charged $21 an hour supposedly didn't know about it ) I'm not the main decision maker, my father is and he makes very bad decisions exposing my parents to home attendants that stole from them, a relator who undersold their house by several thousand and so much more. I don't want power of atty and I don't think my father would give it to me because he wants to be in charge. It's been a lifetime of watching them and now him make bad decisions. They threw money out the window like it was nothing (one example- they stayed in a fancy hotel for 3 years, while keeping their expensive home instead of getting medical help or moving to a different house - my mom thought something was making her sick at the house). I have bent over backward to help them sacrificing my well being while feeling like they don't appreciate me or want me to have my own life. They have felt like terrible children since I was a teen so I have not had my own. I have repressed anger that shows itself when I'm pushed too hard. The main things I don't like is that I don't know how to feel better and no one understands if I try to talk about it. I have tried many things and types of therapy. I have ignored the pain and anger it and fooled people and myself but it still surfaces.
I still have to help my 83 year old father and he is still getting into messes. I don't want to do this anymore. He has no respect or appreciation for me and I was trying to do the "right thing" by helping them. I just feel like I've thrown my sanity and life away. I wish I had moved away years ago and had a cordial, long distance relationship.... at least one of the 3 of us would still be healthy. The disasters happen and are hidden for me to find out about regardless if I'm in the picture or not. What would you do to heal? Please be kind.