My 90-year-old parents both have dementia. That, plus their advanced osteoarthritis, has made it impossible for them to live independently. My two sisters and I take turns caring for them in their home, even though it takes two of us 1,000 miles away from our own homes to do so. They require 24/7 supervision, because they are both fall risks and are also incontinent. Anyone who thinks adult diapers are sufficient has never dealt with an adult who is completely incontinent and mostly helpless.
So here's my big frustration. My sibs and I are the only things keeping Mom & Dad out of a nursing home, which they dread. Yet they both accuse us of overmedicating them, stealing from them, plotting against them, etc. I know intellectually that it's the dementia and I shouldn't take it personally, but it's really hard when I (and my sisters) am going out of my way, leaving my husband back home, being gone for a month at a time, being at their beck and call 24/7, and not only NOT hearing please and thank you, but getting abuse in return.
Maybe I just need to vent right now, but I hate getting these nasty accusations when all I am trying to do is help them and give them the life they want, not stick them in a nursing home, which might be where they belong. All of their doctors tell us how much better they are doing since we started taking care of them five years ago. Yet my parents seem to resent having us around. And they absolutely will not acknowledge that they have any dementia. So if anyone who has experience with dementia patients can speak to that, please do.