How do you handle taking care of your mom in your home and your sister doesn’t help?
My dad wanted to move in a few years ago because my mom wouldn’t take care of him and yelled at him all the time. My sister told him to live with me. When he asked I couldn’t say no. I over saw his care with aids in and out and hospice. I did everything for him till he passed a few years ago. Now I have my mom. She is in her 80s independent. We used to be close and I helped her and my dad with money, insurance, legal etc. Since she moved in it’s been drama with her And my sister. Now with my dad gone my sister is trying to gain control of my mom. My dad said he would help pay with expenses but my mom and sister don’t think she should. I have been out of work with helping my dad and multiple surgeries I have had. So we have been struggling. I asked her for more money to help with mortgage and utilities food etc since I make dinner for her. She has her own in-law apt separate phone lines etc. my mom stopped talking to me ran to my sister mad that I needed more money. She gives me 600 a month and now says she is paying MY utilities and she barely eats much to chip in for food. I buy the laundry soap she uses and don’t get reimbursed for that either. She thinks 600 pays for all our stuff and she creates no bills etc. if I was working I wouldn’t ask for a dollar. My sister has since had my mom change passwords etc to her banking etc so I don’t see anything which I never went on unless mom needed help with something and yet she is now on moms acts. My sister lives close by and yet is never here helping me with my dad when he was alive nor my mom. She says she works and has her family etc and does what she can of taking her out for dinner once a weeks and maybe to her house for dinner on sundays 2x a month. That’s not helping me. I am married with my family too but have been so stressed out with so much responsibility while she works makes money goes on trips buys new furniture etc and here I am struggling taking care of mom and having my sister put knives in my back. She calls my mom all the time from work etc wanting to be first and more important but I’m doing all the work. I am at the end of my rope hearing my mom say she doesn’t think she should pay me 600 a month and how she could have stayed home with my dad like I pushed them here. My dad needed help she wasn’t giving him nor was my sister. I know all my sister cares about is moms money. She always hated my mother. But I am at the point where I want mom to live with my sister and move out. My health has suffered from the stress and so has my family and home. I took care of my dad and put my life on hold for about 6 years it’s about time my sister earned the money she’s looking for. I know it’s a matter of time when she has my mom take me off the will. It’s all she has ever wanted. Would have been nice working together as sisters for mom but her idea is calling from home or her job while me and my family do all the work. Then to top it off by knifing me in the back. We’ve never been close and I am tired of the fighting and manipulating games they play. I just don’t want to feel guilty for how I feel or wanting my home back and my sister to take some responsibility on. If they can’t appreciate all we do then let them see it on their own out of my house. Mom doesn’t want to be alone, yet doesn’t want to be at my sisters but can’t seem to help us with expenses here or appreciate all we do. What do I do?