How do you handle an elderly parent that lives with you and thinks it's ok to just casually walk into your bedroom without knocking?

To me, this dosn't sound like right-or-wrong/black-and-white issue and it does sound like "parenting" parents issue, often no consensous.

So I would probably lock my bedroom door when I need it to avoid push-open situation if other means don't work well.

Remember the old saying, "You can't teach an old dog, new tricks?"

If your parent has dementia..................rules and boundaries are moot. If you want privacy, put a lock on the door.

Simple put a lock on your door they don’t think there is anything wrong with walking in on anyone

user70: Your mother requires managed care facility living.

I had an idea pop into my head. Since Mom seems to have no sense of privacy. If she is suffering from Dementia, put a black area rug in front of your door. People with Dementia have problems with depth perception and think its a hole.

Lock the door when you don't want them to stroll in. Seems that your loved one has lost the ability to consider your need for privacy.

@user70, you cannot continue on like this. You wrote in one of your replies:

"...She gets worked up when I'm not around and she shuts down mentally. When I'm not in her presence she will shut off all the lights in the house..won't eat without me, watch TV without me..etc."

I recommend you try the following: DON'T REACT. She acts like this partially because she successfully gets your attention every single time by shutting off lights, not eating, not watching TV.

- She turns off all the lights when you aren't in the room: So what?
- She won't eat without you: So what?
- She won't watch TV without you: So what?

Any time she does one of those attention-getting actions, IGNORE HER. Every single time you walk back into a darkened room, you can calmly and pleasantly say to her in an approving voice: "oh, are you meditating? That's nice. I will leave you quietly to meditate. Let me know when you're ready to eat" then go back to your own room, or get a snack, or whatever.

Maybe her shenanigans will peter out if you don't react as a knee-jerk reaction to all of her histrionics. That is, if her dementia isn't too deep.

I have a second recommendation. You also wrote "I know she needs psychiatric care but her primary care physician sees nothing wrong with her mental state". Get a couple of RING or other brand cameras* (you can purchase plug-in electric socket, or battery operated inexpensive cameras) in order to record the histrionics.

You can then send the video with just the touch of a button by email or text to her physician to show her repeated histronics and melt-downs and ugly manipulations. This will open his eyes to what is really going on, at which time he can order tests and get her the help she (and you) needs.

Perhaps set one camera aimed towards your bedroom door to document her melt-downs when you innocently close your door, and set another camera in the living room where she gets you to react by turning off lights and TV.

When you set them up, just calmly state to her that you will feel safer with a couple cameras in the house. That is the truth, isn't it? Then, if you are a two-party state where you must advise someone that they're being taped or recorded, you are legally covered.

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* I am one of the least technologically adept persons I know, but I set mine (RING) up and they were so very easy, and they were cheap, and you can turn them off when you don't want to record or you can just leave them on to record any motion, and if something happens that you want to document, you just press a little button within two weeks of the recording and you can save the video forever...I was so nervous doubting my ability to set up cameras but I finally felt forced to because my neighborhood has had an ongoing spate of indoor break-in burglaries, plus mailbox thefts, plus small packs of hungry coyotes roaming around and I had twice been shocked and actually trapped in the pitch black night and at sunrise by coyotes who no longer fear humans. The cameras have been invaluable to me, and I suspect will prove invaluable to you.

Do it! You won't regret it. Good luck.

Maybe a neighbor has a room you can stay in, and do what the other person suggested...leave for the night if you can't shut your door.

Does she have any funds from maybe when she had a home of her own? If she can't afford an assisted living place, you might check out Adult Family Homes. Often they are better about percentages of people they allow to transition to Medicaid....and (at least in my area) there are a whole bunch of them, so finding one near by was easy.

Totally understand why you don't shut your door...likely it will be much more stressful for you to do so as she'll be banging on the door and yelling.

If having her live in an AFH near you isn't possible, I agree with others...the next time she goes to the hospital tell them you can't take her back. You are going to end up with ulcers, or worse, if you don't already have them. I know you want to do right by her, but you can't allow her present to dictate your future. She might be around a couple more decades. Then what?