He plans to start driving again!! He has been unable to lift his feet into the car on his own, got a transfer wheel chair and either a nurse of me has to lift his feet into the foot rests. . . AND HE THINKS HE IS CAPABLE OF DRIVING!!!!
I hadn't even thought about a mobility chair - aren't they very expensive? That might help a lot. To Lorraine, yes he does have a valid driver's license. To SMLily, you came up with some great ideas, problem is he is not computer literate and when I suggested I take over paying the bills, he did not argue and I feel a lot better about that. As for the gardening, I have always been the gardener and still am at 77 years old, but we do have a college boy come in the mow during the heavy grass season. To Jeannegibbs, his license was never revoked, and his thinking is not impaired except in regard to this driving situation. Thank you all!
I agree encourage him to help you in other ways! Something like honey, that is so sweet if you to start doing our driving again to want to help me. What I could really use help with is this laundry, it never seems to go away. Likewise, is there something else around the house he used to be really good at that you may not need as much help with or something that he can’t ‘mess up’, almost like busy work so he still feels productive and independent. If all else fails, take the appropriate action to have his license suspended/revoked. The doctor can actually communicate that directly to the BMV for you if there is concern he may try to drive in his condition putting himself and others at risk.
Sweet Corina; just tell him the Truth ,he may get mad but ,he'll get over it...and then say it's not fair to other drivers if YOUR REFLEXES are not what they used to be...
Is he capable of doing something else around the house that doesn't involve driving? I agree with the posters, a mobility scooter may help him feel less dependent on you. I never took the keys away from my mother, who insists she can drive, but since she "lost" her keys, we simply stated that we only have one set left, and no one wants to walk home with groceries.
But if he really can't lift his feet to get in and out of the car, then he should consider other ways to help and if his plan can cover a mobility scooter, as one poster has suggested, and there are a few places where he can go without you, I think he'd feel better about the limitations he does have.
Is he proficient in online banking? My dad takes pride in online banking and handling the bills; is that something he already does? My dad also "supervises" the lawn maintenance people who cut our lawn and trees so it looks the way he wants it to.
Would you feel comfortable if he used services for the elderly in your area? Some come to the house and pick up the individual in question to take them on the errands they need to do. In my state, there's a lot of older families that use that services to get those daily activities done. It's worth looking into.
corinna, your profile says your husband has hearing loss. People don't lose their license to drive for that, do they? Why was his license revoked? It sounds like he has mobility issues.
He thinks he can drive. Is his thinking impaired in any other ways?
Are there other things he can do to "help you" that would be within his capabilities? Fold laundry, match socks, load the dishwasher, etc. If he is interested in food, could he plan meals for a week and make a grocery list -- not necessarily cook, but be in charge of meals?
My husband mourned the loss of his beloved car and his driving privileges for a year. This is a huge loss for most adults. What helped somewhat was getting a personal mobility scooter. Then he could at least go to the library or the barber on his own. He had dementia and I thought the social worker was crazy to suggest this, but it turned out to be very good for him. If you husband had one he could manage to get into, perhaps he could do errands for you and feel more independent himself.
He gets really mad if I hide the keys, but the one day he did try to back the car out of the garage "for me", he got wedged in and needed my help to lift his feet out. As you can see, he really feels bad about not being able to help me.
Or make sure he has keys to a car you no longer have,, or that won't fit into the ignition."Oh dear, Ill have to order new keys" This worked with my dad for quite awhile
Is he physically capable of getting himself into the car? If not then you have nothing to worry about. If yes, make sure he doesn't have access to the keys.
But if he really can't lift his feet to get in and out of the car, then he should consider other ways to help and if his plan can cover a mobility scooter, as one poster has suggested, and there are a few places where he can go without you, I think he'd feel better about the limitations he does have.
Is he proficient in online banking? My dad takes pride in online banking and handling the bills; is that something he already does? My dad also "supervises" the lawn maintenance people who cut our lawn and trees so it looks the way he wants it to.
Would you feel comfortable if he used services for the elderly in your area? Some come to the house and pick up the individual in question to take them on the errands they need to do. In my state, there's a lot of older families that use that services to get those daily activities done. It's worth looking into.
He thinks he can drive. Is his thinking impaired in any other ways?
Are there other things he can do to "help you" that would be within his capabilities? Fold laundry, match socks, load the dishwasher, etc. If he is interested in food, could he plan meals for a week and make a grocery list -- not necessarily cook, but be in charge of meals?
My husband mourned the loss of his beloved car and his driving privileges for a year. This is a huge loss for most adults. What helped somewhat was getting a personal mobility scooter. Then he could at least go to the library or the barber on his own. He had dementia and I thought the social worker was crazy to suggest this, but it turned out to be very good for him. If you husband had one he could manage to get into, perhaps he could do errands for you and feel more independent himself.