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My Mom only has SS and less than $38,000 in a Money Market account that she withdraws from. My brother and his girlfriend are also taking from it as well.


She’s currently in an Independent Living facility but her dementia and demeanor are getting worse.


The Director has informed me that she needs memory care and may be evicted by October.


She creates so much drama and chaos that I can’t take her into my home again. Plus, I don’t have the space unlike my other siblings, and they won’t do anything at all for her.


I’m not sure what to do now but retire and flee the country. 🤪

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Yes, your brother needs to stop drawing out of Moms acct. Medicaid could consider this "gifting" and penalize her for a period of time. Where I live MC and ALs cannot be covered by Medicaid unless the person private pays for two years at least and the facility has to take Medicaid. Mom has about 3 months of LTC, which gives someone time to apply for Medicaid so that it starts when her money runs out.

Medicare and Medicaid are two different things. Medicare is Federally based and you must sign up at 65. Medicaid is State based. If Mom goes on Medicaid for LTC, She will keep her Medicare and Medicaid will be her secondary insurance. Medicare pays first, Medicaid pays the balance. Nothing comes out of your pocket.
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Does she have a POA, etc,? If not, there may still be a chance of getting one if she can express understanding and preference on a good day.

The money that is being taken by the brother and his girlfriend will show up in the Medicaid application process.

So the POA will have to deal with that. Hopefully the missing money isn’t too much.
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Go ahead and leave the country for peace and fun!
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Your mother will qualify for Medicaid once her assets are depleted. She should go to memory care in a place that also provides nursing home level care and accepts Medicaid. Her assets will be depleted quickly. The brother and girlfriend shouldn’t be touching her money. You can’t take her into your home, that’s all you need to say. For a positive note, my mother went from self pay to Medicaid in a nursing home that also had memory care, there was zero difference in her care no matter which way it was being paid, her care was good throughout.
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Retire and disappear. No, seriously, you are under no obligation to take her into your home, so don't be made to believe that. Tell the director you will not take her out of there. If he does evict her, he must do so safely. Call the ombudsman or a state elder care social worker for assistance. If she goes to a NH, she can pay down her money market account and then go on state Medicaid. She will qualify once her assets fall below a certain level. You can apply her for Medicaid usually on the state's website. The state social worker can also help.
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JoAnn29 Sep 2022
This is not a NH, its independent living, just like an apt complex. They are private and probably do not except government assistance. They are under no obligation to do a "safe discharge". Same with ALs and MC that operate privately. They have informed family tgat Mom needs to move. Thats where their obligation stops. If Mom had no family, then APS would be called to take over.
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