How do you get your parent diagnosed when they are combative?

Barb....it comes and goes. After maybe 30min she calms down and we can have a semi regular conversation, though she'll stand firm on her believe that we lied to her about something.

I do not think she'll agree to go in for a diagnosis. I do think she knows something is wrong. She will say something completely off and then try to cover by redirecting us.

She is unable to be around another people. She's very anti social and now becomes very distressed if she's around anyone. She had a crying fit in our guest room during Christmas. She said she's having a breakdown and couldn't stop crying. She was calmed and then that evening got mad at one of my inlaws, went to the guest room and cried and argued for a couple hours. There was no reasoning with her. I was mortified and sick with worry for her.

It happened again at her house when I came to clean up a minor flood (pipes got backed up). She lives with my sister. My mom claimed we lied to her and that I was supposed to be there helping to clean the house. Not her room where the flood was. She didn't want me in her room. She said we tricked her and were trying to take away her independence ...though I was simply trying to clean up the water. She said she was sick and I couldn't come in. She then locked herself in her room. After some back and forth and trying to pry the lock open, she came out, said she was sick and blew in my face to make me sick too. :( She eventually calmed after I sat in her room quietly. She then let me clean up.

Interesting thing is...she does seem to remember incidents and was fretful over it the next day. I then wonder if its dementia.

Then she'll make a random comment about going to Florida (have no idea what she's talking about) or ask some other random question in response to one of our questions or she'll ask the same question 5 times in a ten minute conversation and I think it's dementia.

Her sister passed away from dementia this last summer. :(

Sick with worry.

If your mother is abusing you verbally, I would still call 911. She must be in terrible psychic pain.

Have you considered an involuntary psychiatric in-patient admission?

Thanks to the both of you. It's mostly viciously verbal, so we are not physically threatened. She's depressed, but hasn't harmed herself...beyond opioids.

If your mother is combative and presenting danger to herself or to you, call 911. Insist she be transported to the ER.

I just did that in November. My mom had gone completely ‘feral’ (I don’t know another word to describe it) and since my dad and daughter were afraid of her I talked her into getting calm enough to ride to the hospital.

Once we reached the hospital and other people were around she held herself together better.

Diagnosis: Depression and moderate dementia

She on a new med that’s helping a lot. No more hitting now, occasional temper fits but not often.

I also mentioned my mom’s meds when she was admitted, to make sure none would have weird side effects or clash with other drugs.

Make sure your hospital has a Geri Psych unit with a psychiatrist!

We believe the behavior is not strictly due to meds, but specifically some form of dementia.