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My mother has severe urine incontinence and occasional fecal incontinence. She wears depends, but inevitably soaks her clothing and sheets several times a week. The odor is horrible and even with repeated washings - vinegar, baking soda, odo-ban, detergent, fabric softener - the odors remain in some clothing. I do know that hot water helps, but everything can't be washed in hot water. Also, she has very sensitive skin and I have to use free & clear detergents. Borax is going to be my next try, but I would appreciate any suggestions.

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Thank you all so much for the advice!
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Try a better quality disposable underwear. We use Abena Abri-Flex. They are double the cost of depends, but work twice as well.
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First off, try to mix baking soda and vinegar in a bucket first, then drench the items with the above items while they are having the chemical reaction. Then wash.

Lastly, place the items in direct sunlight for a few hours - this will often remove stubborn odors. You might also try doing some research on pet urine removal products. I believe these are a combination of natural items which you can even make at home in large batches.
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I've read good things about Natures Miracle, from the pet store. Here are a lot of other suggestions:

www.agingcare.com/questions/remove-urine-smell-sheets-clothing-163526.htm
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I soaked things first in borax and vinegar in cold water but you're right some fabrics retained the odor and those were tossed
Buy some underpads (Chux) for the bed and those can be washed saving the sheets
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