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My mom has dementia and we have hospice coming in and tending to her 5 days a week. She is getting plenty of bathes but her clothes and room still smells. Washing her laundry now has the washer and dryer smelling as well. Everything I wash now smells like her. I have tried bleach and other cleaners but I can't stand the smell anymore. Need advice.

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Try white vinegar in the wash about a cup per full load. In the house set a small open bowl of white. Keep away from pets and children.
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There is a scent booster by Gain you can put into your washer when washing your laundry. It smells lovely.

For her bedroom, I would open her windows as much as weather permits to air it out. To me, there is no other better sanitizer and clean scent smell than wiping and cleaning everything down with pine sole.

Then you can use candle melts or whatever, if you prefer.

The key to her bedroom is you got to "clean" the scent out.
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gdaughter Sep 2020
Related to my baking soda comment, many years ago when I was away my father did me a "favor" and had some minor paint repairs done to my car. The car stunk horribly when I got it back because his "friend" was obviously a smoker. I scrubbed the car from ceiling to carpet and did baking soda AND STILL had the stench. FINALLY I just happened to open the sliding ashtray (it was a long time ago) and found the 4" remains of a fat stinky CIGAR. I was livid, but once I got rid of it and filled the ashtray with baking soda, things rapidly improved...my thought is that your source of the odor ---could it be in the mattress pad or mattress? The carpeting? Carpet padding? I think I've also heard (which may be a challenge with someone in the room) painting might help...
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I have this same issue with my mothers clothes. I use a laundry detergent that has an odor and stain remover and that works well.
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"Nonenal, a chemical compound that people develop as they age, is the culprit behind the smell, which has been described by the National Institutes of Health as an “unpleasant greasy and grassy odor.” It is often hard to self-detect, but will linger on fabric such as shirt collars and pillow cases. Nonenal odors thrive in confined spaces"

I used a mild deodorant soap on Mom. Vinegar may help but you may want to try drying outside. Urine smells tend to come back when dried in a dryer. Vinegar smell will dissipate. I have done the vinegar in a bowl and it works. I saw a difference in just a couple of hours. I was using Arm and Hammer detergent thinking the baking soda in it would help but it didn't. Went back to Tide. I used the scent boosters but found it was too much "scent".
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Hospice told us to put a tray, like a soda case box, under the bed with kitty litter in it to help obsorb the odor.

I would use borax in the washer and vinegar in the rinse cycle.

I am sensitive to fragrance, but I can use essential oil diffusers as air fresheners without any adverse reactions. Love lavender, orange, grapefruit and bergamot, clean, relaxing and long lasting. Lemon and may chang is a really vibrant one, energizing and clean.
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gdaughter Sep 2020
Oh what a great idea, about the kitty litter...your answer made me recall that hotels at home is a website which carries linens and bath stuff from various hotels. Westin and Sheraton are just a couple I believe who have diffusers they sell, and as I recall they put a lot of effort into picking scents that would not cause reactions in people who were sensitive. Some years back they had them strategically placed in lobbies to have a welcoming aroma...
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I have read there is a particular soap that will help it contains Persimmon oils.
Pretty sure you can order it or you could try a health food store or if you have an Asian market near you it might be found there. (It is a Japanese soap)
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zumapal Sep 2020
Got some on order. Thanks for the advice. Hoping for great results
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OMG that phrase!! I had to laugh, because I know it is a real thing,, but that phrase has caused one of the biggest rift in my hubs and his brothers lives! When my BIL and his family moved in with my hubs parents, my niece stated she now hated to visit her parents because of the "old people smell".. and she was in her mid 20s... no filter! And of course my lovely tactful SIL told my in laws... who repeated it to my hubs,,, And hubs still about spits on her when he sees her... (but he is polite) Luckily we don't have this problem yet with my mom.. She is about to be 90, showers every other day, wears depends.. so I guess I am just lucky
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Isthisrealyreal Sep 2020
Oh my, some things just DO NOT bear repeating. Why in the world would a grown woman repeat the nonsense of a 20 something?

You at least have a heads up with those two.
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I swear by using white vinegar and baking soda along with laundry soap to get rid of body odors. I clean with a recipe of half white vinegar, half water and the juice of a fresh lemon. Keep a spray bottle of this for quick clean ups. If soiled clothes got to the dryer with a bad odor unfortunately it gets baked in. Some clothes may have to be thrown out.
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haileybug Sep 2020
I will have to try this. (soon) I love "clean."
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Try Bamboo Charcoal. It comes in odor absorbing bags and also can be found in soaps. It's especially good for "old lady smell", which as Joann said, has something to do with chemicals on the skin of some elderly women and isn't a result of bad hygiene. (Although opening the windows is always a good idea!)
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I'm sorry...I just saw this and wickedly thought...get rid of the old people...sorry...LOL. Seriously would say I'd open windows while the weather is holding, lay out some bowls of baking soda (seriously, it works for other things). I'd also get some of those packets for cleaning the interior of the washing machine...I think the one called Affresh has the good housekeeping seal...Don't know what to do for the dryer, but I'd google the question for ideas.
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zumapal Sep 2020
She recently got a hospital bed and I burned her old mattresses. Still have smells. Took all the carpet out of the house and had vinyl floors Installed throughout the house a few years ago. I ordered some Odoban because I saw on the Internet that it will help. I truly hope that with all the great advice that everyone has provided that I will find one that will make my sensitive nose happy.
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I have tried vinegar with doing laundry and cleaning. Didn't work for me.

I must didn't use the right mixture.
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Isthisrealyreal Sep 2020
Hailey, most dilute the vinegar to much. It is not a good grease cutter either.

I recommend going to everydaycheapskate.com and checking out her diy cleaners. They have been tried and tested and offer great results. I haven't had to scrub a bathtub in over a decade using Mary's shower cleaner.
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I don't have that problem but I did have a problem with kitchen towels retaining a strong oily smell. I tried everything to no avail. My son who works in the food industry gave me a tip that worked for that. You could try it and see if it works. Very simple: when washing use a slightly less amount of detergent but throw in a dishwasher pod. Yep, 1 dishwasher pod. It worked and my towels are now fresh and no longer retains that oily smell. Give it a try and see if that works. For the house smell I have no idea, sorry.
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zumapal Sep 2020
Will try this next time I wash her clothes
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Try lemon verbena soap (on her) and lemon verbena laundry detergent on her stuff. It smells wonderful and I've found it to be a great deodorizer for tough smells. I don't have old people smell to contend with, but my husband's hobbies result in seriously stinky laundry.
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bettyscg Sep 2020
Where do you buy this soap from, please?
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My H developed this and I shaved his chest and underarms then bought those scrubby gloves and scrubbed him with dial soap, rinsed, then scrubbed him with nice foamy soap. The shaving and scrubby gloves worked wonders. You would not believe the dead skin particles that came off of the gloves when I rinsed them!!!
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Mom's house reeks. She'd had so many overflows with her cath bag on her recliner, and she'd just put a dry towel and another blanket on it. Her carpet was 22 years old and it took all 4 of us kids to tell YB he HAD to replace it--when he ripped out the carpet, the padding was ruined with urine and other spills. At some point, you cannot clean carpet well enough.

When she used to let me clean the first thing I did was open all the windows (which had not been open since the LAST time I'd cleaned). Sadly, the smells (primarily of cooking fat and urine) has simply saturated the walls and floors and clothes. Replacing the floor with wood laminate helped a lot. But the 'TV room' still had carpet. Last time I cleaned it, the water I pulled out of it was thick and black--I do not know how she got it so dirty.

She shares w/d with SIL. SIL runs vinegar and pet urine remover through the machine, but the dryer still has a smell of urine. Mom can't smell it.

Cleaning, deep cleaning is your best bet. I love bleach and use it a lot. Also vacuuming fabric surfaces on the reg. Smells can get into everything. She has waaaay too much 'stuff' in her place and it all smells. She's 'left me' a bedroom set, which, frankly, I won't take b/c although it's lovely, it smells so awful.

One weird thing I discovered that I use at home is a few crumpled up sheets of newspaper in the bottom of the trash. Kills the smell of the trash and buys you and extra day. I'd do this in mom's 'diaper pail' but she'd get mad, so I leave well enough alone.

On the flip side, my MIL's house smells fantastic. She has it cleaned every week, but there is literally NO bad smell there. She opens windows every day and bleaches her bathrooms and gets her trash out pronto. She is immaculate in her personal hygiene and I think that is a big factor.

Both my Grandmothers lived alone into their 90's. Their places smelled not just clean, but 'sweetly clean'. One gma made her own soap! and her place was so sweet. The other employed a maid. I do not know why mom's place smells so awful and their places were sweet and clean.
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Sendhelp Sep 2020
Always good to hear your take on things, Midkid!
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I have used a Lysol wash product-a blue liquid comes in a white plastic bottle with a blue lid. Has a nice fresh smell to revive anything that is washable. Find it in the laundry isle. Depending on where you live and what big box is near by you might have to search on line first. It says to put in the rinse cycle but i found it was a bit too strong for me. so i but in during the wash cycle. It is not bleach so it will not hurt the fabrics.
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JColl7 Sep 2020
I use this product as well. It is a laundry sanitizer so it kills 99.9% of bacteria. I bought it when my husband had c-diff. If you want it for its sanitizing purpose it’s meant for the rinse cycle. For me it was too expensive not to use it as recommended. Just my humble opinion.
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I echo the lemon verbena soap idea. And big bags of lemon verbena itself (you can use as cushions in places where the elderly sit) can really help. Hung up herbs drying round the house are helpful and don't add to indoor pollution. Worth trying in lots of "smelly" conditions.
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Isthisrealyreal Sep 2020
Where do you get big bags of lemon verbena?
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I use the snuggle fabric softener for super odors and arm and hammer laundry detergent with fabric softener for clothes. Use an odor eliminator that is oranges from home depot. Eliminates odors, not just covers them up.
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I totally know what u mean!! It takes a while to get ride of it somehow... I didn’t notice these while I had mom, but since then I’ve discovered the freshener beads that help with odors. Maybe those would help.
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You may be dealing with "oil odors" as well as "nitrogenous waste odors". Try small amount of dish soap that is a "grease buster" to deal with oil-based scents. Try products in pet aisle for urine and fecal accidents for waste-based scents. If she has carpeting, you may need to pull it up since the pads are probably soaking up the scent. Try covering her mattress with a plastic bag-type mattress cover too. If she has kidney problems, the breakdown of urine products are deposited in the skin. Use gentle soaps that have lemon oil to combat personal odors that linger on her.
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Try a cup of white vinegar in the wash cycle. It’s one of the cheapest solutions. Great on removing urine smells too.
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Someone else suggested Mary Hunt's everydaycheapskate.com website. One product I learned about from her is Nok-Out, or its hospital-grade version, snIper. We had a cat spray in our house -- you know how awful that is! I followed the directions and just as promised the smell got worse because the enzymes were interacting. Sprayed again a day later and boom, no more odor. I keep a gallon jug on hand all the time and use it for my husband's pillow and recliner. And thanks to Mary, I also keep a bottle of vinegar next to the wash machine for those stinky loads of laundry, especially the towels. I don't like fake scents -- candles, sprays, etc because they are just chemicals you are adding to your environment that only change the smell, rather than removing it.
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My daughter bought a home previously owned by smokers. They had to rent and run an oxygen machine for 3 straight days and could not be in the house. It worked, I wonder if something like that would help in the future?
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NeedHelpWithMom Sep 2020
That’s interesting. Many landlords do not allow smoking. I don’t blame them because the smell lingers and the smoke leaves a residue on surfaces.

I know a woman that went to bed with a cigarette in her hand. She burned a part of her bed. Thank God, she woke up and was able to put out the fire.

She lives in the upstairs part of the condo that her daughter owns.

Her daughter has severe allergies and can barely stand the reek of smoke when she goes to see her mom.

Of course she still smokes! She has smoked since she was 15 and says it is a very tough habit for her to break. She has tried to quit many times but always goes back to smoking.

She drives her daughter crazy! Her daughter has threatened to have her move if she doesn’t stop smoking but doesn’t have the courage to follow through on her threats. It’s sad for both of them.
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If one of the sources of the smell is from incontinence, then use a product that is meant to get rid of pet urine. I have the caregivers splash a bit in with the laundry soap. It makes all the difference. We are using Nature's Miracle, but other brands may work too.
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Tynagh Sep 2020
Laura, I use Nature's Miracle as well! It really works.
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Add Borax when doing a wash load. Instructions are on the box.
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Concentrated room sprays from Bath and Body Works and they last a looong time.
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My Mom too & that bizzare funk smell is gross TRUST ME ON THIS I’m living your life. My friend suggested & I bought A GREEN AIR PRO MACHINE. Cleans the air even gets smoke out of paint in walls carpets every thing. Look online the one I have did the job has a timer fan covers 3500 sq ft.I had a carpet guy steam & deodorize the carpets he walked in and said do you have someone sick or did someone die Here. Find a clean air machine all the spray does is mask the odors. YOUR NOT ALONE IN ALL THIS HANG TIGHT.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 2020
Well said and you know what you're talking about. I found over the years on many of the caregiving jobs I went on is that so much of the time a lot of the odor in the house is because there had been a serious lack of housekeeping for a long time. A lot of dust, dirt, and no windows ever being opened contributes greatly to the bad odor. Add incontinence and/or a pet and it will be real bad indeed. There usually has to be a good deep cleaning of a place including rugs and walls being cleaned. Then the smell can be controlled with cleaning products and regular good housekeeping.
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Odo-Ban is an excellent product and readily available. Disinfects too.
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My Mom has incontinence issues and I had the same problem until I started adding a cup or so of pinesol lemon scent to the wash water along with the regular laundry soap. Works like a charm and was much friendlier on the budget than the lysol laundry sanitizer, which is hard to find in my area anyway. I would also wipe down the inside of your dryer with a damp rag with a little pinesol on it as well.
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Just my opinion, but that sounds very rude. Some day you will be old and someone will be trying to get YOUR smell off of stuff. Once a month you should be cleaning your washer, especially if it's a front loader. You put 1 cup of bleach in the tub and set to "clean". Also, wash her clothes MORE OFTEN and don't let her wear them day after day after day. Most likely, the foul smell is a build-up of perfume and deodorant. A lot of older people don't wash their clothes as often as they should. I cherish my mom. She is precious no matter how she smells.
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Midkid58 Sep 2020
It isn't meant to sound rude. It was a valid question that a lot of us deal with. Yes, we're going to get old and yes, we will probably have a 'smell'....but knowing what's out there to help is life altering, truly.

I was simply pointing out that my mom's place is stinky (and there's no use sugarcoating this and saying it's not) and my MIL's place is immaculate and smells extremely clean. I mean no disrespect, and neither does anyone else. Once you get furniture and carpets that have been saturated with urine--you just want to cry. Mom's visitors are always kind, but they will also often comment on the smells. I can't do anything about, and it makes me sad.
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