She lives alone and is able to physically care for herself, but she is mean, entitled and sundowns. She is not capable of handling her finances, meds,,cooking, shopping etc. My sister and I are at our wits end dealing with her demanding, mean behavior. I am POA, but her Dr. is of no help in diagnosing her with dementia. We want out if this hell. Any ideas?
Read this thread for more ideas. APS and stepping totally away, letting Mom become a ward of the state, is another way to go as stated already below. However, in my state giving up POA is next to impossible , you pretty much have to be severely disabled or in a coma.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/is-it-too-late-to-stop-enabling-496116.htm
Just because you are your mother's POA doesn't mean that you have to do the hands on care. And you can always remove yourself as her POA and allow the state to take over her care.
You are not stuck in this "hell" if you don't want to be, so call APS today.
When she lived home I just did the chores that were needed and limited my socializing to a half hour or less a day and only when an aide or my husband were present. She was nicer to me if there were others in the room.
That is how it went for a last year and a half of her life. I didn't like her much and the feeling was mutual, she didn't like me either.
Just get the job done, limit the chitchat.