My mother is in hospice care but seems like she is no where close to really dying. I took a leave of absence to take care of her thinking that she was going to live a short amount of time. That was 5 months ago. Five months of no income. She deteriorates to the point where I think there is no return, but then she bounces right back like a rubber ball. She has had several rebounds and they are killing me. I feel like I am on a roller coaster that will never end. I love my mom but I am SO ready for her to die, just so I can have my life back. I feel like there is no end in sight. How can I retrain my thoughts to be positive instead of feeling like I'm in total despair?