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My grandmother is 83 and lives alone in NY state. She is not safe at home and is not allowing anyone to help her. Her neighbor/ friend, Maureen, is her health proxy. Maureen and I agree that something needs to change, fast. Tomorrow we are calling her doctor (who is worried and displeased with her lack of self-care) and her APS social worker (who is frustrated and recognizes her as severely self-neglecting). Maureen would like to proceed with having Grandma declared incompetent. She wants to compel her to agree to having a home aide, and if that isn't going to work, have her admitted to a nursing home.



Advice?



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It would help if you stuck to one post :)
This is maybe the third or 4th post about this.
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Definitely call the doctor regarding this - especially if he is already concerned. I also think you need a judge to sign off on incompetency of another person, so call your courthouse as well and they can direct you. I pursued it once for someone and I was advised that it's a lengthy process and may not even go through if those in authority do not agree with you that the person is incompetent. In spite of my lengthy list of behaviors, falls, and other problems, I was told that my elder probably *would* pass a competency test. I'm not trying to discourage you, but rather trying to convey what happened to me with this so that you have that in the back of your mind.
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