How do you get a very abusive elder committed to a care facility?

Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
7

Answers

Show:
Make plans to get yourself out as soon as possible - you deserve a life. If your mom feels she cannot plan to get out with you, then do it alone. She will need you later when she cannot take it anymore. Sounds like another nasty entitled old coot who thinks women are slaves. How great when you can say "I'm out of here - have a nice life or whatever." Feels wonderful.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Have you spoken with his doctor and requested medication to help with his issues....that may help. Contact your local coroner's office and asked  about getting a  order of protective custody for him and they can have a mental evaluation done on him....if you explain the situation and provide enough documentation...record it...logged and bring it..

Some facilities may not admit a person if they are abusive to the other patients.....if they are abusive and the abuse continues they may discharge him from the facility...  

Get out and get away from him...maybe he is trying to drive you out and he is being abusive to get you to move out........Good luck.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Your grandfather has been like this his whole life? And your mom has lived with him, like this, her whole life? They both won't change. He's competent. (When my dad was hospitalized and thought he was staying in a hotel, his doctor told me and my brother that our dad is competent - because despite the delusion of where he's staying, he was able to converse with the doctor on different topics - up to date topics.) Don't think it will be easy to declare your grandfather as incompetent. Your mom and her father have been living like this for decades. I cannot see either of them changing the current status. Sorry, but the ball is in your court. To stay and be there supporting your mom (note not your grandfather) or you move on with your life and still be supporting your mom until she finally gives in that he's just too much for her....

Kdalla, may I know what your mom says about the situation?  I'm just curious.  Does she feel burdened? Angry?  Obligated?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If he doesn't have any health issues and isn't cognitively impaired, you won't be able to force him into a facility against his will. You might try to encourage him to move, but if he abusive, that probably won't work. You could also move yourself if you can afford to do that. That may be the best situation for all involved. If he gets physical with any of you, call the police and let them handle it. Chances are they will just let him go again, so nothing would be accomplished. However, they may be able to take him in for evaluation if domestic issues are a problem for him.

Good luck with dealing with it. My first impulse would be to move myself out of harm's way.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Why don't you all move to other quarters? If you can pay rent, you can move.

If he is a danger to himself or others, you can, at least in the States, call 911 and have him taken to the ER and possibly get an involuntary psychiatric hold and evaluation.

But I'm not sure why your mother feels the need to stay and be abused. And she's paying rent?  Is she being paid for caregiving?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

my grandfather is the owner of the house we live in, and we rent out the basement suite. my mom has been his sole caretaker her entire life (i am her daughter), and has always lived with him. he doesn't have any major health concerns at this time, and has gone for checkups with the doctor. he could likely self pay if needed to move into an alternative living situation. he is extremely verbally and physically abusive to everyone in the house, and has been for several years. we are from Canada so medicaid/medicare does not apply. how can his mental capacity be assessed? if he knows he is going to the doctor for this reason, he will likely not go. this situation is very damaging and traumatic for everyone. looking for any type of help. thank you
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

kdalla, we need more information. I see from your profile that your Dad lives with you. When did he move in? What are your Dad health issues? Are you the only caregiver? Could he be self-pay if he moved to a continuing care facility, or would he need to sign up for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare].

Regard his health. Has he been recently seen by his physician to check for an urinary tract infection [UTI] as that in itself can make an elder act very abusive.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions