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I have been arrested because I called the police to help me when my mother became violent. I explained she has dementia and I need some guidance on who can help me and they talk to her she tells a untrue story saying I beat on her (I am the one thats with her so I am the one always lying and stealing and other horrible things) she seems normal to the police so they believe her and I go to jail. Now I have an order of protection and can't even check on her. I am lost.

So, the original incident when the police were called and ended up arresting you (!) was more than a year ago, you were advised not to challenge the charge (?!), and find that you are still prevented from checking up on let alone assisting your mother?

So who's responsible for her care? Can you find that out?

If nobody is, you'd better write down an account of the last few years, since you first noticed her illness, and formally submit it to APS. If it's on record and in writing and they still do nothing, at least it won't be for want of your trying.

I would say, and get better advice. But actually, since that lawyer is also the one who's familiar with the back story and pointed you in the direction that's got you to here... go back to that lawyer and say "what now?" Try your best not to say "what now, smartass?"
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Reply to Countrymouse
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You went to jail twice? What were the charges?

"The last time we went to court i was told it would not be dropped because thats a liability to the state and just agree to this because it will disappear in a year "

What will "disappear in a year"? Were you supposed to stay away from your mother, and yet you went to her house anyway?

I'm confused.
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Reply to CTTN55
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Try to get help from her regular doctor. Make an appointment for yourself and let them know what is going on and that she needs assessment and treatment. Tell them you fear for your life. There must be a point when the doctor thinks she is not of sound mind and can take matters into his/her own hands. I'm guessing you aren't POA.
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Reply to toomuchtobear
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Noclue Oct 17, 2018
She has had the same dr for like 10 yrs. My father tried to reach out to him befor he died 5 yrs ago i talked with the dr 3yrs ago. This dr is well aware.
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Were you living with her? Are you now homeless?

I think I would call Adult Protection Services. Explain that you have been trying to care for your mother and that you think she has dementia. You don't wish to abandon her but there is not much you can do since she has an order of protection. Ask if they could periodically do well checks on her.

What are the symptoms that lead you to conclude she has dementia? How long has this been going on? Who else has seen these symptoms? She obviously can "show time" for the police, which is not uncommon.

It varies by location and policy and training, but in general police are very poorly equipped to deal with any kind of mental illness.
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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Noclue Oct 17, 2018
This is the second time this has happend so i was already out of the home and coming to visit several times a week. She thinks everyone is stealing from her especially me. She cant find her way around a town she has lived in for 20 yrs. She tells lies and says conversations took ace or things were said that werent. It takes all day sometimes longer for her to complete simply tasks. Nothing is good, she is constantly agravated amd upset. It started about 5 yrs ago befor my father died ,she started with he was 75 but cheating on her and it has just progressed. I know something going on but no one seems to believe me
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You personally can't get her diagnosed as she refuses. In fact you personally can do almost nothing, from the sound of the 'order of protection'. You could probably apply for guardianship, but you are starting from a difficult position and may not be successful. Are there any other family members who could take some responsibility? Failing that, you probably need to back off and let things sort themselves out as they will. Calm your heart - it's a very distressing situation to be in. Getting out of it may the only sensible thing to do.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Noclue Oct 17, 2018
Yes, i have sister who seems to want to help but is hours away. I know you are right and i have to back off its just hard,
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Well. If your mother has dementia and she's living alone at home because you have been removed from the picture, it is only a matter of time before the real situation comes to light and you will be vindicated. Do you have access to legal advice?
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Noclue Oct 17, 2018
I do not. The last time we went to court i was told it would not be dropped because thats a liability to the state and just agree to this because it will disappear in a year and i could gwt back to helping her because the lawyer also seen something wrong with her, so i did and now i right back in the same spot but worse
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