How do you get a doctor to work with you? My aunt is 91 & is in decline. Just got out of rehab & is not safe living alone. Lied to go home.

If Auntie wants to wait and see how this pans out--let her.

Then when she's unhappy with how it 'pans out' you can honestly say you tried to help her and she refused.

We're right there with my MIL. She NEEDS to be in assisted living, won't even entertain the thought, so we're just sitting here, waiting for the next fall or UTI that puts her over the edge.

If you are not your Aunts POA, your hands are pretty much are tied. And even if you have her POA's, your hands still may be tied depending how the POA is worded. It may just be best to let Adult Protective Services deal with her at this time and place her if needed. You've done what you could, and now it may be time to let someone else get involved. The number one priority has to be your Aunts safety. I wish you the best.

You say if "we" don't hire home care then protective services will pick a place for her to go, and that your aunt is fine with seeing what happens. Good! Let APS do their job and find a place for her. Do not, for any reason, hire home care with anyone's money but your aunt's. Home care will end up not being enough at some point, and there you will be with your money gone and an aunt that still needs APS to find a new solution for her.

Your hands are tied with this situation. Patients lie. They get released. They aren’t safe. They are stubborn and don’t listen. They fall and are in danger.

It’s an impossible and stressful situation. You have done all that you can do. Most likely, the other shoe will drop and decisions will be made for her. They may not be the decision that anyone likes but her lies will be the cause.

You have not caused any of these problems. Obviously, you care deeply. I feel for you and for your aunt.

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this situation. Wishing you peace during this challenging time in your life.

Keep us posted on how things are going. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Your aunt is lucky to have a caring niece in her team.

Has she been an independant sort her long life?

I guess this is a "I will live at home as long as possible" sort of situation?

Is the "nurse" an LPN or RN. If not, she is an aide with maybe a CNA certification. CNAs are not allow to distribute meds unless trained as Medtechs. They can remind a client to take their meds but should not be doing medplanners or handing the pills to a client.

I am surprised that the rehab released Aunt without confirming with family that she would have someone with her. Especially if 24/7 care is needed. Its an "unsafe discharge" otherwise.

My decision would be to place her. Hopefully someone has POA if not...then the State will make the decision and she does not want that. Can she afford 24/7 care? That could cost 10k a month and who is going to coordinate her care. Aides are human. May not show up for a shift because of a family emergency, sick themselves.

What do you think a Dr. can do. He cannot force your Aunt to do anything. All he maybe required to do is sign papers saying she is in need of 24/7 care.

My mother tells anyone who will listen that I live with her so she can go home. She's in a nursing home now after she stopped taking all of her meds. The reason for that is vague. I think she needs a psych eval. I don't see it happening while she's there. I tell the people who care for her that I do not live with her. I live an hour away. I have a full-time job. I document names, times and who I spoke to.

She would needed to assign you to be her healthcare proxy/POA and she would also have to sign any HIPAA forms which allow you to consult with her doctors, without any of that you are powerless.

Hospital and rehabs release patients all the time, just on the patients word

How did she manage to get home from rehab? If a family member picked her up there is part of the problem.