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I'm caring for two 84 year old woman.one is my mother.the other one is a problem. She runs and complaining to mom about me and gets her upset. Than has my mom yelling at me. Mom thinks she has to protect this woman. No one likes her she has no place to go. So I'm in the middle. What to do??

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I don't know omg. I haven't been home in 20 months now. My husband comes here Avery day and goes home every night. He's my rock. My mom won't let him in the house because he yelled at the other women staying here. It's bad.
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My sister died, taking care of my mother. You have to get out, one way or another.
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Karenvit, think about this, what if something happens to you [stress can kill that is why 1 out of every 3 Caregiver dies leaving behind the love one they were caring]. Who will take care of your Mom? Who will take care of your Mom's adopted son?
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But Mom will not go to a home. I helped her mom stay home too.i came over in am changed her fed her . Came at noon did the same. And at dinner. Then about 9 put her to bed. She died at home with us.96 years old.
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I am going to take him. I'm 58 my children are grown and out of the house. I raised my grand chiled for 10 years also. I am not looking forward to having a teenager again but no choice.
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Karenvit, I always heard the cut off date for adopting a child is 45 years old for a woman. Amazing that your Mom was able to adopted a child at 70. Curious, what happens to the son if Mom is put into a nursing home?
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Well, you need to organize your thoughts and care responsibilities and have a frank conversation with both. If they still are of right mind, you need to explain that you will no longer tolerate the other woman undermining your care or trust with your mom. Tell her in no uncertain terms that if her behavior continues, you will have no choice but to find her alternative housing and care elsewhere. YES this can be done, you can get her in HUD or other senior housing, meet with your local aging care service center and consult with them on your problem.

If mom protests, tell her she decides if you stay there or she gets alternative care by someone else. You and your half brother get out of a toxic environment.
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I have 1 sister 3 brothers all out of state no help!
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That would be great but my mom adopted a boy when she was 70 he's 14 now and won't liste to her any more that's another reason I stay with her.
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One thing you can do is say since neither of the woman are happy with your care, you will be hiring someone to come in to take care of both women, and your Mom and friend will need to split the cost.

If funds are limited for both ladies, check with Medicaid to see how they could help out with the cost.
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