Hi all.
First, thanks for the advice so far.
HOW do you find a good memory care facility?
Mom has had some medical issues, culminating in me calling 911. She had diarrhea thanks to enema given her just before discharge from a hospitalization for a blood clot.
She needed changing and was fighting me tooth and nail. She got a brush from the bathroom vanity and was hitting me with it while sitting in her wheelchair in a pool of waste.
I was a wreck.
Got her to hospital (bless the 911 crew) and told staff she needed placement. She had been hitting me and this was it.
She wound up someplace awful!
The hospital arranged placement, and when we got there, the staff literally snatched the medication list the hospital gave me on discharge. I had taken photo with cell phone so I would have it with me. (This is important later.)
The unit was locked and I made a point to visit daily. I did not observe a lot of staff interaction with patients.
On the plus side, she was getting physical therapy and was managing her walker and wheelchair better.
Had to be alert that her clothes did not go missing. Was doing her laundry at home because I had heard of trouble with patients' things at other places.
Mom told me at one visit that one of the staff "pinched" patients who vexed her. As I was not sure what was happening, I filed it.
Then there was another patient on the unit, a young man with some sort of mental disorder. I saw him masturbating out in public. The female patients were afraid of him. Then family photos I had put in mom's room kept disappearing. I would mention it, the photo came back, only to vanish a day or so later.
I filed this as I was told some residents "shop" other's rooms.
Had a meeting with the staff and we went over progress, medications. I specifically asked about the Xarelto mom has been prescribed for the blood clot. I was told she was taking it.
THEN mom's $3,000 hearing aid disappeared. Arrived for a visit and she could not hear me. Without it mom is stone deaf. I immediately alerted the only nurse on the floor and several aides.
To say the response was lukewarm is an understatement.
I went to the director of nursing's office to discuss what was happening. The aid was found, but every time I came over, it was locked up in the drug box.
Made the decision to bring mom home. When I got her med list from the facility, no Xarelto. She had not been getting it for two weeks.
On the plus side, the antidepressant they started her on has eliminated the hitting.
BUT two days after discharge she was back in hospital with gastritis. The diarrhea was incredible. The blood clot was reforming. The gastritis was due in part to blockages in abdominal arteries, something the Xarelto was supposed to help.
She's home now, Things are better. But the writing is there. I am partially disabled and don't know how long I can handle her.
How do I find a GOOD facility for mom?
No matter what time of day I visit, it is calm and pleasant.
Stop by at meal times, earlyish in the morning, just before bed.
Trust your gut. When you tour a facility, you will be able to tell in a few minutes if it’s a good one or not. After you place her, visit at different times of the day and different days of the week. Get to know the staff. Call care meetings for her regularly and ask for a monthly rundown of her scripts.
Good luck. Let us know. .