My mom has lived with my husband, my two children, and myself for the last 6 years. My mom’s health has improved quite a bit than when she first moved in with us. However, she still cannot see to drive. We would like to build a house with an apartment in the shop next door so she can have her own space and us ours. If she contributes to the construction of just her apartment, then I have siblings who think her using her money is coming out of the their “inheritance” or that she is giving me money. These siblings have some addiction issues and do not help with anything with her care. I don’t care about any inheritance but I just want her given a place to live and be cared for without hurting my own family financially. Anyone been in a similar situation that has any wisdom?

I'm with your siblings on this one, she would be using her money to add a feature that is to your benefit in the long run. Build the suite/apartment with your own funds and have her pay a fair market rent.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to cwillie

Put a "tiny house" in the back yard. It will be owned by her.
An alternate, is more like an RV, trailer, or fifth wheel.

Many states allow an "in-law" house in the back yard.

It can be sold later.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Sendhelp

You don't say how old Mom is or what health problems she has? Is there any Dementia? If so, she is not capable of signing a contract concerning the add on and her contribution. And you should have a contract to protect urself from ur siblings.

I ask her age because Medicaid could be in her future. If so, the add on counts as a "gift". Within 5 years of applying no large amounts of money should leave her acct. This will cause a penalty because Medicaid sees you profiting if u sell the house not her.

If you think that there would be no problem with Moms health or you needing to care for her in the next 5 years, then go ahead with your plans. What Mom does with HER money is her business. There is no inheritance till she passes. You can count that ad on as you inheritance. Like I said have a contract written up that Mom is putting up ? amount of money for an ad on that is for her. This shows she was in agreement that her money will be used. Have a lawyer draw it up and notarized. Then in Moms will she can say that whatever she has asset wise at time of death will be split among the children equally, with the cost of the add on deducted from your split. Or, she can do the split equally and and that the cost of the ad on she contributed to is being considered as an offset because you gave her a roof over her head and cared for her. A lawyer should be able to help with the wording.

With siblings like this I would keep records on Moms spending. My Moms bank statement was a great way to do this. It showed her SS coming in and the money going out. Any out of pocket on my part...a check was written once a month. The receipts went into an envelope with the month and check# on the outside. Mom had a small pension she received a check for. This was used for her personal needs. Again, receipts were kept and envelopes used. Even if she treated us to dinner.

Try to ignore your siblings and have as little contact as u can with them. No one says you have to answer the phone or let them in your home. I would make sure once Mom has a space of her own, that none of her financial stuff is where ur siblings can get to it. That you are aware if any checks she writes.
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Reply to JoAnn29

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