Should she continue living at the assisted living or bring her home? Their is an emotional tie, feeling guilty,but at the same time she has become very difficult. She is unhappy where she is at , she was unhappy with me , with my brother, with my friend. She is upset at the world, grand children, great grandchildren. People upset her, noise upsets her and is extremely inpatient. Does not want to do anything. I don’t want to draw my mother as an ogre, but at times it seems that way. For me it is a difficult decision.
Is your mom on any medication for depression? It sounds like something might help her with her anger and unhappiness. Leave her where she is and see if you can get her some medication to ease her unhappiness.
Getting older is no fun. Your Mom can't hop in the car and drive herself to the mall.... all her friends probably moved or have passed on... she wakes up with all types of aches and pains.... food doesn't taste good anymore because one's taste buds disappear, except for sweets.... her eyesight is probably failing and so is her hearing. If I was in her shoes, I wouldn't be a happy camper no matter where I lived. Life just doesn't seem fair.
You need to remember that Mom is in assisted living for a reason, and that reason is because she needs a higher level of care. If you brought Mom home, you would be physically and emotionally exhausted, and close to 40% of family caregivers pass away, those are not good odds. What happens to Mom then? She is back to the same assisted living, but without you to visit.