My Father-in-law likes to tell stories, which has gotten us investigated in the past. If he bumps himself and bruises; I did it. He absolutely hates me. And even told the Social Worker we are taking advantage of him (we pay rent, supply his food and personal care, and care for him 24 hours a day.) We are thinking it's time for a nursing home. If he keeps story telling the Social Worker can remove him and he will become a ward of the state; leaving him without choices for his care. Do we just let him go and let it happen? His son has General power of attorney. No he is not abused. Example of our problems was yesterday: from Mr. B., let Amanda see me die or help me die. Or its your fault I am like this. We are at our wits end. Can a social worker talk to someone without their power of attorney present?

I would hope that the SW realizes that ur FIL has Dementia and should take what he says with a grain of salt. You trying to explain what will happen if he keeps it up will not get thru to him. He can no longer process what your saying. His mind is all over the place.

Yes, I would think that they need to question him alone. SW needs to make sure he is not being coerced or intimidated. You should be questioned too. Its at that time you provide his health records and explain what u do for him.

I personally would place him in a NH with Medicaid paying his way. Ask the SW about a VA home for him. I wouldn't put up with this. His Dementia will only get worse so a NH is in his future anyway. I doubt if you want to pay 5k a month or more for his AL or at least 10k for a NH.
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Reply to JoAnn29

So when you were investigated in the past, what was the outcome? Nothing? If so, then why continue to worry if he has a diagnosis of dementia in his medical records and his medical PoA is active in managing his affairs. If FIL has a PoA and no abuse can be proven, no one can pursue guardianship for him. Maybe consider having cameras installed to cover the physical abuse part. Who is his financial PoA? FIL's bank statements will tell the story of whether he's being robbed, and hopefully you are keeping very thorough paper trail of what you are buying for him and any reimbursements.
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Reply to Geaton777


terrible. i hope you find a good way.

——yes, social workers can talk to someone without POA present. they start investigating.

i’m not at all saying this is your case: i write the following here below, to warn others and myself too!…here:

indeed sometimes the social worker wants the person to become a ward of the state - not for the person’s best interest, but the social worker might get something out of it. sometimes guardianship is sought out by sneaky, non-family members, “elder trafficking”, trying to get money from wealthy elderly people.

here from internet on “elder trafficking”:

The victims are seniors. The partners in crime are financial predators and agents of the Elder Guardianship system -- attorneys, professional guardians, medical experts, and others who are paid out of the senior's assets. There are some good judges but many are overworked and some are actively aiding the exploitation. Anyone can file to deem you incapacitated. The entire process from filing an incapacity petition to plenary guardianship where all rights are removed can happen within days. Yet, once you're caught in the web, it's almost impossible to break free... AND you are forced to pay your abusers in the process.

example: she is somewhere alone in assisted living probably wondering why her family has abandoned her.

The abuse is so rampant that the process itself has been called "Liquidate, Isolate, Medicate." 

With 40 hours of training and a modest background check, a professional guardian can start earning $85 an hour and have control over a ward's property, finances, medical decisions, housing and social relationships.
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Reply to bundleofjoy
Geaton777 Sep 10, 2021
Can you please include a reference source for where you are getting this information? Thanks
I’d present the social worker with his medical records that outline the dementia. And it does sound like his care needs and the need for your own well-being have progressed past the point it can be successfully handled in home
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Reply to Daughterof1930

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