How do you deal with the merry-go-round?

This is the same Mark who told you he wasn't going to assist with the house bills because he isn't living there right now and is in the hospital and moving in with his druggie nephew? I hope your merry go round with this man is over sooner rather than later.

I would be surprised if the infection is not the real problem here. The breathing treatments make me think, with the chest problem that you are facing down pneumonia here. If that is so, very serious for Mark, as you will know from the move to ICU. Their worst fear is sepsis, which often the falling BP can be indicative of. If that happens it will be very touch and go, and I would bet he is again on the heavy duty antibiotics.

You know that Mark is a very ill man, Doggiemom. I think that things may never be different from him. He has so many major systems now under attack. I understand he is young and want to fight, but he is already just using so many things in his battle; there's just not a lot more.

I think that the only way that you can face it is to expect the unexpected, to take it one day at a time. There honestly isn't any other answer.
In your post about your sweet therapy dogs you have told us that you yourself are beset not by one but by several anxiety disorders you have to deal with. This doesn't help. It is putting you in a constant state of adrenalin and cortisone feeds, and then collapse, and it's doing it over and over again.

I caution you--Mark is going to be sleeping a whole lot, and in ICU an amnesia sets in; he isn't going to even KNOW how often you are there--you MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You simply must. This is terrible for your own system. Mark is in good hands, and they are all doing their best for him. Please take care of yourself.

I just roll with the punches, accept the setbacks and ongoing issues. My step-father was on dialysis for 6 years, now that was a real trip, one that I will never take again.

My 99 yo mother is suffering from renal failure level 4, so the doctors say "She needs dialysis" my brother and I are like No not going to happen.

We caregivers tend to over accept responsibility for another, we all have some codependent tendencies. It took me awhile to figure this out, now I get it, back off Dolly, you are not in charge of saving another or making them happy!

I’m not sure we deal with it, but instead hang on for dear life while waiting to see if we fall off or the merry-go-round stops. At the rate yours is spinning, it may fly off its axle and roll down a hill!

I was depressed and stress ate an extra 50lb. I was overly emotional, with anxiety. I shut down my emotions except resentment. Mostly I was numb and detached, going through the motions. Lousy options.

Screaming can be troublesome, so I switched to singing. I’m a force to be reckoned with at karaoke. I’ll swim, or just float with my eyes closed. Sit and stare at my bird feeder. It feels a bit more acceptable/productive than staring off into space.

You’re going through so very much. I hope you can soon regain yourself and your peace.

It's hard that's for sure, and it's ups and downs, I get down for a few days , let myself wallow in my depression, then kick myself to get moving .

Everyone is different as for what helps them, me it's taking walks, keeping busy, try to keep a project of my own going, you have to do what you like to do and make that time. Which I've been slipping on that one. Sometimes we just can't get motivated to do things we enjoy, sometimes you have to force it. If you like to read , find a book and read, or craft projects. What ever helps

Nobody knows, really. Everyone is different. People will always say to take care of yourself first, but that's a variable. For some, that might be a long walk. For me, it wouldn't. For others, it's going into a soundproof room and screaming, but who knows where to find one.

The impossible is expected of us. There's little caring for the caregiver. I suggest that you stop answering the phone. You don't need to know every little detail, do you? You were going to divorce Mark, right? You'll need to work on emotionally uninvesting. Since he hasn't been nice to you, you don't have to stay on the merry-go-round. Go no contact. His crises no longer have to be yours.

Or is the divorce off now?