How do you deal with the anxiety when the phone rings?

Your anxiety level has kicked into high gear and threatens your own health. Get a Rx for anxiety meds and turn the phone off at bedtime. Been there. Done that. Still alive.

Kootiebear, welcome to the club.... I would jump out of my skin any time the telephone rang. And go into sheer panic when I saw the caller ID from the senior facility or long-term-care.

I think it is because we are in a situation where we are lost on what to do depending on what the telephone call was about. We never had training on this. There are no mentors standing next to us telling us how to manage the call. So we just panic. It's just our nature. Some can let such calls roll off their backs. NOT ME.

Oh those 3 a.m. calls. Unnecessary unless one of my parents was being transported to the ER. Calls about falls where there was no injury could wait until a decent hour.... but I do realize a senior facility gets pretty busy first thing in the morning. I even asked if such calls could be eliminated, no, it was State law. Oh great, no way I could get back to sleep, so there were a lot of sleepless nights.

My doctor kept suggesting I take something to calm me down, but I refused. Now I could kick myself for not taking her recommendation. See what your doctor would recommend and give it a try, it might do wonders.

I went through that with my mom. She was in a nursing home and suffered from dementia. I was the only one she ever called so my # was first on her mind. At 3AM. Three times in one week. To tell me she learned how to use the phone. So, I told her I had to fix the phone and never brought it back. She wasn’t happy, but I told her if she ever needed to use the phone to ask the nurse.

When the NH called, the first thing they said was “everything is OK.” Maybe when the group home calls you, it’s not a good thing, but it’s not always a traumatic disaster either. Take a deep breath when you see the caller I.d. and just answer the phone. They found the UTI and treated it. They cared for him when he fell. They’re handling it, by law they have to notify you. But not to freak you out. As time goes on, you will learn how to take this in your stride. Nursing homes often have staff who help families, too. My saving grace was the Director of Nursing. He was wonderful to talk to!