I have feelings of burn out after all these years of caregiving. Are there ways to deal with this?

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I am new to this site. My mom has lived with us for 14 yrs come Oct. She has always had arthritis and has had 2 knee replacements and a hip replacement. She is in fairly good health but my problem is that it has been FOURTEEN years of her here with me, hubby, and 2 kids. I am finding it hard to "keep it up" these days. I am short in my conversations with her, avoid her (in my own home) and I just need to get away from the situation a lot. Normal feelings, I am sure but where does one find the "fight" to keep going with normal, daily, stuff??? Any suggestions?
Pooh

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I am new to this site. I thought it was bad that my mother has been with us for only 18 months. I thought I had burn out but I guess it is only beginning for me. I have been taking care of my mother for a number of years but she was in her own home at the time. Catsx10 I can relate when you say about peoples words. Everyone is trying to give me support but the words are like a sharp knife that just keeps stabbing at me. Unless you have been in this situation no ones what it is like. I am at home 24/7 without a break. I started college this year so I could get away from the house for a while. I think that might have added more stress to me. I do not see going to work at all for a while. We do have a homemaker come in daily so I can get away. But I watch my family come and go as they please doing whatever they want to do. I resent them at times because I can not just pick up and go. I have to get someone to stay with mom until I get home. I always hear from my family "Well I have something to do right now" or " I already have plans" so I do not ask anymore. I bare and grin and go on. What else am I suppose to do?
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Pooh I can totally identify with your feelings of burn out. Although she does not live with me, I too have been taking care of my mother for 12 years. But, mine has many medical issues that take so many hours of time to deal with. She takes many medicines for her conditions and now her diabetes is totally out of control due to the residual pain from shingles. I am trying to deal with my feelings of guilt, frustration and resentment. To top things off I am also her "official" home provider. She needs daily insulin injections which she cannot do herself because of her arthritis and forgetfulness. I have also given up the idea of returning to college or having a normal full-time job because of the care that she needs. She does attend a day center but I still feel so overwhelmed because I just feel that I cannot do this any longer. She has become sooo dependent on me. I wish I could give you words of support but I feel like you in many aspects. Those who tell me to keep going do not have to do it and I resent theirs words sometimes. Help anyone? Mom doesn't speak english so I also have to be her interpreter.
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Is it possible to use her income to build a guest house for her so that both of you have privacy?

Can you improve your bedroom so that it is your own private space where you can go and close the door to get away from everyone?

I would also suggest seeing a therapist where you can safely vent your feelings and perhaps discuss other options that you and your therapist can come up with once the therapist knows more details about how this situation developed and still continues.

Recovery
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