How do you deal with burnout being a care taker?

If she can focus on simple crafts, get the ones for younger children. Pot holders, knitting, scrapbooking pictures of birds, animals, mountains.... whatever might be distractingly pleasant that can be picked up and put away easily but easy to get to. Entertainment for children is fun and not disrespectful.

I sit in my room with 3 dogs, watch electric gadgets and cry.

Kuddos to you for taking care of your love one. I take care of my 82 year old Grandfather with Alzheimer's so I know its not easy.
Have you considered respite care?
Have you considered calling a family meeting and asking the other siblings to help?
Try reaching out to Alzheimers.org. They can help out with your situation. They even provide financial resources
GOOD LUCK!!

Caring for my sister, but not on a 24/7 basis. We are in a rural area, so we go walking whenever the weather permits. She doesn't engage in conversation while we're walking so I have that time "sort of" to myself. On the TV front, try children's programming rather than anything adult. Disney/Pixar animated type cartoons that run about 15 minutes might hold her attention better than movies or dramas. That said, my sister really enjoys movies with lots of explosions and gun fights.
Definitely fine a way to "self care". your burn out will not help your mother

Laugh

i lived with my 90 year old mother in law with Alzheimer. Although she would stare at the same page for hours try giving her a magazine to look at. Doesn’t matter what kind. When the library opens up take out Magazines from there. Good luck to you!!!

You must get some help.
1st- for your mom, to relieve some of the burden from you. (See suggestions made above.)
2nd- and Equally Important-for your own sanity**. You are already burned out. Call someone for support. Any friends or family ? Neighbors or other associates ? 24/7 care of someone with dementia is too much for any one person. And the current Covid stress and restrictions only intensify that. Self care is essential. Professional mental health services may also help you with coping skills. When I was spending much time and energy caring for my mom, a counselor (for me) was very helpful. Finding the “right one” may take some trials but it’s worth it. Just begin. There are also caregiver support groups, but probably not in person now if you are in a lockdown area.

You'll also find some good literature here on this site about caregiving issues, and tips. Keep reaching out, as you did by writing here. Best of luck !

Contact your ADRC and look into respite programs. There are quite a few out there, and they can help you navigate it. Having caregivers in once or twice a week saves my sanity. It's a chance to get away, and also someone to bounce ideas off regarding cares (I ask them about different solutions to bathe mom and wash her hair).

Burnout is all too common among caregivers of Alzheimer's dementia loved ones. You must find a way to give you some respite time. I like the suggestions of contacting your Area on Aging, your state Dept. of Aging and your church. The Alzheimer's Assn may also be helpful. Your mom may qualify for palliative care. Having been a caregiver and losing my wife to AD, I realize you can go beyond burnout. Feeling helpless and hopeless, getting angry, becoming desensitized to the needs of your loved one, thinking "how can I get out of this", are all signs that your caregiving has gone too far. These feelings can cause physical illness for you. If that happens, your mother cannot stay in your home anyway. So make the contacts as suggested above. You may want to start calling some care facilities and explain your situation. The need here seems to be quite immediate considering your anticipated surgery.

I wish you luck. You can't do this alone!!!

OneBlueMoon, can you make busywork for her, like jumble a bunch of towels and have her fold them (or clothes) or sort things? Also, without knowing what language she speaks it is possible there are churches in your area whose congregations are a majority of new/recent immigrants that you can try to google search. For example, in my area we have Ukranian, Korean, Russian and Hmong churches, mosques where multiple languages are spoken, etc. Not sure what your mom's financial situation is, but you could contact translation services and if they have people who speak your mom's language, and that person may have a network of same-language speakers where you might find a helper. My aunt with severe dementia loves to watch funny animal videos on YouTube. She'll watch the same one over and over. As BarbBrooklyn has emphasized, you MUST get some relief, even in the lockdown. I'd start with the churches and go from there. Blessins!

So you can't get someone to sit and watch TV with her?

If you further injure yourself caring for her, or become ill from being over-burdened and burnt out, will she be better off?

Please, save your sanity and get some time off. Find a caring person who cam watch TV, do simple puzzles or coloring with her.

Can you arrange for a caregiver to come and sit with mom for a few hours each day?

When COVID 19 restrictions are lifted, will you be able to access an adult day center for her?

Have you been in touch with your local Area Agency on Aging to find out what resources are available?