I have currently been taking care of my elderly grandmother for the last 7 years from the time I was 20 till now at the age of 27, and before that I helped take care of my great grandfather for a few months till he passed away at home.
My question is how can I deal with the burnout or how can I possibly come to the conclusion of when I've had enough and give up? I hate to say that, I really do, but it's affecting me mentally to the point that I don't know what to do or how to react anymore.
When I agreed to stay here, my aunt was helping by providing some financial assistance and taking my grandmother (her mom) to her doctor's appointments. After a year, she just quit and has since then not done anything to help.
I do not have a vehicle or a job (I live with my grandmother about 5-6 miles from town). So we basically have to make it month to month on $900 from my grandmother's retirement, which I don't think I have to explain how that is difficult in its own way. My dad takes me to the grocery store and to pay bills but other than that, it is the only help I receive.
The house is in need of repairs badly, we barely make it through the month as it is with just a few dollars left, if that sometimes, and it has gotten to the point that I just want to run away from it all. My grandmother adamantly reminds me she would rather die than go to a nursing home, and me being as big hearted as I am towards my family, it is hard for me to come to terms with it all.
I practically gave up everything to take care of my grandmother. I haven't had friends or left the house for anything besides grocery shopping, paying bills and the like in many years, not to mention haven't had a girlfriend or job either since moving here. And the constant reminder of how hard my life is going to be after she does end up passing away just gets worse as time passes.
Please if anyone has any kind of suggestions or advice, I desperately need it. Thanks for taking the time to read all of this if anyone does.
Whose idea was it originally for you to become your (much-loved) seniors' caregiver?
What would you like to do as a job?
But yeah its definitely not an ideal situation giving up my younger years and practically crippling myself later on down the road as far as being able to get my own life started after eventually leaving here.
But as I said when i agreed to stay here my aunt agreed to help and take her to the doctors and so on since she is the only one who can afford to do so but after a year or so she stopped coming around or even helping so I have alot of weight on my shoulders constantly and considering I started doing this at 20 I really had no idea what I was doing or signing up for, I just wanted to keep my gma out of the nursing home till my aunt found a different solution but yeah I dont know what to do at this point in time..
It is very tricky/complicated when one isn’t financially independent.
No money = the decisions you make will be totally different, if you had money.
It affects your present/future.
Poor = people can try to manipulate you, “force” you into unwanted situations (like becoming a caregiver slave).
Poor = people can pull strings on you like a marionette; or psychologically try to make you feel bad.
Please do all you can to become financially independent.