Yesterday was a bad day visiting my dad in his nursing home. There aren't a lot of bad days, but when they happen they can really knock me down. And I never know quite how to react or handle things.
He generally seems very content there. He has favorite aides and favorite nurses (though I'm realizing now this may be part of the problem... that nobody can measure up to the favorites) and likes the activities.
But yesterday... it was like a 'got up on the wrong side of the bed' situation.
He was mad that nobody got him up until 10:05, which is not uncommon for bath/shower days (even when his favorite daytime aide is there), and even phrased it as "I didn't see another living soul until 10:05." Then he complained that the aide asked him at 11:05 if he wanted to go to the exercise, which seemed to offend him greatly because they would be almost over. Then he told my mom and I that "Nurse Ratched" blew him off when he asked about why he hadn't gotten anything for his hand (which the doctor had looked at), told him he needs to wear his hand brace type thing more (he has contracture of his left hand), and walked away before he could say anything more. Then he both complained that the "subpar staff" doesn't know how to put the brace on (except for his favorite aide) and said that he doesn't want to wear it much because it's uncomfortable.
It turned out that everything he'd told us the doctor had said she was going to do for his hand (ointment for an ingrown nail, which the first nurse had told him it might be) was actually what he assumed she'd do. Because yesterday he said she hadn't said ointment at all, that she had said something about fungus and wearing his brace.
So it's like he decide what the problem is and how to fix it and is now upset that it is not being fixed that way, probably because it's not actually the problem, and he wants my mom and I to do something about that. And what are we even supposed to do?
I'm sorry to go on so long like that but... if anybody has advice for enduring the bad days and keeping patient and calm and doing the right thing... I'm all ears!