Trying to untangle the issue a bit: What has been his normal bowel habit? (every day, every other day, twice a day, twice a week, e.g.) Is he still able to pee standing up? - at least approximately into the toilet bowl? When (i.e. on what sort of occasion) are you encouraging him to sit on the toilet? - to a fixed schedule, or when you have suspicions that he might need to go, or what? What happens when you leave him to his own devices? - does he attempt to use the bathroom normally (but get the location wrong, e.g.) or is he physically incontinent as well?
i will suggest a portable toilet. u can raise it up for easier use, it can follow u around the house or even into the garden :). the bucket is removable and easy to clean. This has been our best purchase so far, along the Alzheimer journey. We get a lot of aggression around using the toilet, this has saved us many times. u don't get cornered in an enclosed space when the person lashes out.
Couple questions. Is the toilet a raised one (ADA height)? It is easier to sit down and stand up when the toilet is a bit higher. Is it a round bowl or an elongated one? An elongated bowl is easier and more comfortable. If he has trouble with getting up there are frames you can attach so that it is like arms next to you (like an arm chair) making it easy to push yourself up from a sitting position. (Or I have taken a walker and placed it backwards up against the toilet tank so that there is a frame that can be used to help push yourself up. (I hope that made sense) Does he use the bathroom to shower? Brush his teeth? If so then it is the toilet he has a problem with. Try changing the toilet seat to a different colored one if your current seat is white. A different brighter color might make it easier for him to see. (If you can't find one use spray paint to change the color of the one you have.) If he does not want to use the bathroom at all check for safety problems. Is the floor slippery? Is the entire room 1 shade or color? It can be difficult to see and tell the difference between the wall and the floor, the toilet, the counters if they are all a similar color. Replace all underwear that he has with a Pull Up brief and don't worry about the toilet. Chalk this up to another decline that you deal with.
Like BarbBrooklyn said it's probably time to have him full-time in Depends or the like. Before my husband was bedridden, he would try and stand at the toilet to pee, but he would end up getting it all over the floor, and so I made him sit on the toilet when he had to pee. He didn't like it, and complained, but I was insistent, and he eventually did it without me having to follow him in the bathroom to make sure he was sitting. I would often overnight hold the plastic urinal for him while he was in bed so he could pee, and so he didn't have to get out of bed, as he was a fall risk. Eventually my husband was wearing Depends 24/7, and later had a supra pubic catheter put in, which was a Godsend, because even though my husband would have his Depends on, he still wanted to get up every hour to pee in the toilet, which meant he nor I got any sleep. Often times incontinence will be the straw that will break the camels back, and a caregiver will decide to place their loved one in the appropriate facility. I wish you the very best.
There can be a problem with this, in that sometimes the person is so intent on wrestling the pull up off that - how can I put it - they run out of time with the hose pointing in the worst possible direction(s).
If he's actually incontinent and is still able to understand what the briefs are and how to get them on and off, then they're very helpful, I agree.
Trying to untangle the issue a bit:
What has been his normal bowel habit? (every day, every other day, twice a day, twice a week, e.g.)
Is he still able to pee standing up? - at least approximately into the toilet bowl?
When (i.e. on what sort of occasion) are you encouraging him to sit on the toilet? - to a fixed schedule, or when you have suspicions that he might need to go, or what?
What happens when you leave him to his own devices? - does he attempt to use the bathroom normally (but get the location wrong, e.g.) or is he physically incontinent as well?
Is the toilet a raised one (ADA height)? It is easier to sit down and stand up when the toilet is a bit higher.
Is it a round bowl or an elongated one? An elongated bowl is easier and more comfortable.
If he has trouble with getting up there are frames you can attach so that it is like arms next to you (like an arm chair) making it easy to push yourself up from a sitting position. (Or I have taken a walker and placed it backwards up against the toilet tank so that there is a frame that can be used to help push yourself up. (I hope that made sense)
Does he use the bathroom to shower? Brush his teeth? If so then it is the toilet he has a problem with. Try changing the toilet seat to a different colored one if your current seat is white. A different brighter color might make it easier for him to see. (If you can't find one use spray paint to change the color of the one you have.)
If he does not want to use the bathroom at all check for safety problems.
Is the floor slippery?
Is the entire room 1 shade or color? It can be difficult to see and tell the difference between the wall and the floor, the toilet, the counters if they are all a similar color.
Replace all underwear that he has with a Pull Up brief and don't worry about the toilet. Chalk this up to another decline that you deal with.
Eventually my husband was wearing Depends 24/7, and later had a supra pubic catheter put in, which was a Godsend, because even though my husband would have his Depends on, he still wanted to get up every hour to pee in the toilet, which meant he nor I got any sleep.
Often times incontinence will be the straw that will break the camels back, and a caregiver will decide to place their loved one in the appropriate facility. I wish you the very best.
If he's actually incontinent and is still able to understand what the briefs are and how to get them on and off, then they're very helpful, I agree.