Two weeks ago my 86 yr old grandmother had a heart attack. She also has other issues regarding anxiety, digestive issues, and has limited mobility due to hip problems (wouldn’t have hip surgery—uses a walker)....she despises doctors....I understand, but it’s almost a little too dramatic because she totally denies needing any help for anxiety when it’s clearly a huge issue. It’s been a huge issue of hers for about 20+ years. Years ago when my aunt took her to a doc to address anxiety/depression, she threw the meds in the garbage when she got home. She doesn’t socialize and is almost 100% dependent on my aunt. My aunt chooses to be a caregiver for her but I can see it’s getting to her. My aunt basically serves her breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My grandmother will shower herself but my aunt will have to dry her hair and lotion her.
Since the heart attack, my mom and aunt decided it would be best to have her come back to my mom's apartment, where I also live. I am in school and work overnights. My schedule isn’t typical but the living situation is becoming impossible. She’s been w/ us for a little over a week and is basically bed bound. Clearly weakness is expected after a heart attack, and forgive me for saying this but a short stay at a rehab, as suggested by her doc, should’ve been the decision. He felt it would help her regain her strength. Instead, my grandmother absolutely refused. My aunt comes over to take care of her but has to walk through my room to get to the room my grandmother is in. It’s an all day process because she’s feeding her, changing her, etc.
Her anxiety is horrible, she says she feels fine one minute then is complaining the next. My aunt has been serving her three meals a day in bed, bathing her, and tending to her every need. Not sure how she still has patience.
I finally spoke up because I’m losing sleep and it’s affecting my school work and I was looked at like I have ten heads.
I’m just trying to get some insight on how to approach this and handle it in a mature manner. I truly believe my aunt and mom made the wrong decision.
Apparently physical therapy will begin at home next week. Not sure how well this will go.
Thank you all. I hope I do not come off as selfish.
I just want to add that I took care of my father who passed away years ago from cancer. I’m totally aware of caregiver burnout. I worry for my mom and aunt because they are both in their early 60s and it’s a lot on them. My mom works full time and that’s why most of this falls on my aunt.