My widowed, 94-year-old dad is in Memory Care & driving me crazy! He doesn't have Alzheimer's & is fairly high functioning mentally compared to the other residents, but short-term memory is poor. He asks me periodically how old he is, and how I'm related to him. Anyway, I visit twice a week & he repeats how he isn't doing well, his eyes are bad (he has progressive macular degeneration for many years & can still see some), he's constipated, he's all by himself, I'm the only one he has, if it wasn't for me he doesn't know what he would do, etc, etc. He is on an antidepressant and an antianxiety med but they don't seem to be doing any good. He's always been a "half-empty" kind of guy but this is intolerable! I start to feel sorry for him & want to do something to help, but rationally I know his problems are not fixable. It's getting so I don't want to visit & I know that won't work. He would just get the staff to call me on his phone & he repeats the same things, plus, "I just need to hear your voice". I try to redirect him to no avail. The staff have told me he does well (whatever that means) & he is no trouble. I really don't want to visit for a while, but he would just call and ask when I'm coming over. He is unassertive, so won't ask the staff for help or to chat. Won't even ask for a glass of water! And the Covid restrictions haven't helped.
I repeatedly see on this forum how some caregivers' relatives are ungrateful & obstinate. My problem seems to be the opposite. Anyone else dealt with this? I haven't seen anything like this on this forum.