my in-laws are in assisted living. he has dementia, she is in a wheelchair and has cognitive issues.
When the staff tries to take her to the whirlpool for a bath, he grabs her wheelchair and won't let them take her. He becomes argumentative and aggressive. He is very domineering and if they ask her if she wants a bath, she looks to him to answer.
She is a diabetic and he feeds her foods and snacks that are bad for her. He manages to get friends and family to bring him these foods, which is another constant battle.
Although my husband has health care POA, if the nurses insist on taking her, he causes a commotion which in turn upsets my M-I-L and nobody is happy.
We no longer know how to deal with him - unless we can get some ideas here (or anywhere for that matter) our options are separate rooms (which she would be okay with, but he would hunt her down), or separate facilities (which again, she would be okay with, but he would be miserable).
So how does one deal rationally with an irrational person?
So frustrated with him right now. We are at our wits end!