My husband, a close family friend and I have been the only ones to care for my 92 year old mother with congestive heart failure over the past fifteen years. She is in assisted living and not cooperating. She refuses to eat meals and wants to live on candy and cake she has sneaked in to her. She has been hospitalized for edema four times in 2.5 months. She refuses to walk for circulation, even a few steps. She will not get out of her chair. Her apartment is nothing but garbage such as candy wrappers and old doughnuts and salty deli meat. I have not had the opportunity to have her POA activated. It was scheduled to be done this week. The nurse from assisted living told me that, if she wouldn’t follow the rules, she would need to go to a skilled care unit because they are not equipped to meet her needs if she refuses to cooperate. We tried to tell her that she needs proper nutrition, to walk a bit and not leave her apartment in such a condition if she wants to continue to reside there. She has become very angry and complains that we are lecturing her. She became very angry and cried to my brother that my husband and I are mistreating her. As a result, my brother, who has done nothing for her, threatened my husband and me with complaints of abuse of my mother. We were dumbfounded. I am a licensed professional and can not afford such complaints. My husband has sacrificed for my mother more than he ever did for his own parents. She is manipulating the situation because she wants to just sit in her chair and eat candy. However, she wants me there at her beck and call daily and sitting day and night in the hospital when she goes because of her poor decisions. I have a business I own and need to be there. I finally told my brother that I will refuse to act as POA because we can not have these allegations. He has become even more volatile since then because he does not want the responsibility. Any suggestions?