At 27 I have 2 ulcers and moved in with my husband and his mother about 7 months ago. My husband works and I am my MIL caretaker. She has medicine resistant epilepsy, diabetes and the beginning stages of Dimensia. She has been deemed by more then 3 doctors and professionals to not be able to make rational decisions for her life.
I make sure the bills are paid on time. Make phone calls on her behalf grading several lines of credit opened up under here name without her approval by her other son. Clean the house spotless because if it is not she will get upset.
I make all her meals, get her out for walks, play games with her, have semi rational discussions with hr and listen when she wants to talk. I help her with her memory by asking her about her child hood or what we did the day before. Accompany her to all her doctors appointments. Try to get her to shower.
I wake up at 5am, she does her coffee but sometimes she sets it wrong and it overflows on the counter, in which she thinks I have tampered with it. So I sit at the table and pretend to read then fix it when she leaves the room if need be. Make her breakfast at 8am. She does not need me to physically sit with her until the evening when her prime seizure hours are but I still check on her every half hour or so.
I know I am fortunate to be able to be in another room until about 4pm but I don't feel fortunate because I am always thinking about her. I leave the door open so I can hear her. If I get a feeling I just go out on check on her.
My only relief is at 9:30pm when she goes to bed and my husband is home but then I need to spend time with him!
Also, recently she has been having accidents at night and will not tell me. She is embarrassed, this is new for her. I try to approach it gently and tell her I understand this is embarrassing but you really need to tell me so I can help you. She just goes back to bed on the same sheets! Sometimes in the same clothes!
Now if feel I can't even sleep. I feel like I have let her down when she gets upset or when she doesn't tell me things.
I have 2 ulcers right now, I really should not be drinking coffee but sometimes it's the only thing keeping me going plus I love it. I am slowing down on it and trying to stop all together.
How do you distress?