My mom is 100, has lived with us for 20 years. She recently fell and broke her collarbone so my care has been even harder. I sometimes just want feel so sick and tired of everything. I then feel guilty for feeling this way. I do have a sister who is not particularly helpful, she has done nothing in her home to make it helpful for mom,all the bedding is so low mom can’t get up, as well as toilet and couch. I think I just need a friend who knows what I’m going through for some guidance.
You have given your mom 20 years of your life, so you have nothing to feel guilty over. You have gone above and beyond.
Now it's time for you to get your life back as you're not getting any younger and you deserve to have a life as well. Your mom has had her life. now it's your turn, before your health gets bad. It probably already is to some degree as caregiving for a loved one for any length of time certainly does take its toll on us.
So PLEASE think about placing your mom in the appropriate facility where you can get back to just being her loving child and advocate and you can start living your life the way you see fit. Your mom would want that for you.
You matter in this equation as well you know.
It's probably a waste of energy to expect help from your sister so focus on getting help for yourself and your mom from elsewhere. Start with your local Area on Aging. You may also want to take the survey at Benefits.gov to see where to apply for whatever federal/local assistance for which you're eligible.
Get some rest.
My own MIL is in an excellent LTC facility on Medicaid. She has her own room, participates in activities, is taken on outings, get great medical attention, etc. So if you are hesitant to consider this option, then please do some research into what's available in your area. You may want to consult with an elder law or estate planning attorney or Medicaid Planner for TN first. Most states' Medicaid financial application has a 5-yr look-back period. You can find applications online for her county.