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My husband lives in a memory care facility, and the staff is very adept at bathing them. They give him a calming medication 1/2 hour before his shower. Otherwise he gets violent and may scream, yell, or cause other mayhem. He is a three-person assist for showers.

At home before he went there, I showered him. It never became easy because sometimes he simply would not tolerate it. He'd yell, threaten me, and struggle. Calming meds caused him to be relaxed to the point of being more at risk for falls, and it was difficult to find a dose that didn't cause that.

You'll get suggestions to hire aides to shower your patient at home, but keep in mind that one may not be enough. Meds will help, but there are risks. Yet keeping the patient clean is absolutely necessary. You may need to consider moving her to a facility where professionals are trained to handle just about anything that happens.

I wish you luck.
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Reply to Fawnby
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You may want to use the search feature on this site and read past answers as this question comes up quite a bit. People with dementia often develop a fear or hesitancy of showers and baths. Many CNA’s have learned tricks of the trade in getting cooperation. Hiring an aide a few times a week may be a great help. Make sure the bathroom is warm, the towel is ready, and don’t make doing it a choice. Use bath wipes and dry shampoo between times. Consider if medication to calm anxiety might be needed. Know that skin will have issues if this is continually ignored. I wish you well in finding a plan that works
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Dilylah 10 hours ago
Thank u so much! Weave started with toothbrush so it’s a good start!
thank you again! Very helpful
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