Before she came to live with my husband and I, she wouldn't change her clothes and if they got soiled she would just hang them every where to dry. Need suggestions. I put them out daily n put the dirty ones in the laundry.
At an early stage in our Journey with dementia my Husband would get ready for bed, he would take off the clothes he wore that day and he would fold them up and put them by his chair. When he went upstairs to bed I would pick up the clothes he wore that day and put down clean ones, foldedd just as he folded them. While he was taking a shower the next morning I would quickly open the bathroom door and grab his socks and underwear and put clean ones with his clean clothes. There was no discussion about what to wear.
Put moms clothes out for her where she can see them. If she asks where they are you tell her. If she asks again, you tell her again and show her where they are. And you repeat this every day, day in and day out. And you do this every day because every day is a new day with dementia.
It will help your mom if you put her clean clothes where she looks for her clothes. If things are scattered put her clean clothes in a pretty basket maybe on the dresser or near her bed. If she is doing daily morning grooming you bring them into the bathroom. ( this is a good way to kinda take a peek to see if she needs help. )
And if that does not work you keep trying different things until you find one that works...for now cuz things change sometimes over night.
Sounds to me like you have this covered. Good idea. How you answer is is "I put out clean clothes for you because your others are dirty; they are in the laundry." If your senior is suffering from dementia she may not absorb this information, and she likely has somewhat of a fixation going with this. Just repeat yourself and move on.
Due to a person's brain changing, often a care provider, be it a family member or a paid caregiver, need to learn to IGNORE these incoming messages / communications. However, you WANT to acknowledge the person (their heart - there essence) by saying something short, i.e., 'they are in the laundry" "I'll get them for you (in a minute... soon)"
It is important to NOT ARGUE with a person. Keep them as calm as possible. "Oh yes, you are right ! I'll get them right away" then ... if there is emotional fallout / she gets upset, try to ignore it.
Realize this isn't her talking, it is her confused frustrated brain (chemistry).
Always try to change the subject, realizing that people get into patterns of thought processes / behaviors and they are UNABLE to change. So, you need to change.
Learn to ignore most of it and focus on keeping the person as calm as possible. Change the subject as best you can.
I used to say to my client who talked gibberish - nonsensical language: "Oh, I have to think about that - that's a good idea" (depending on what the subject is - if there is one). "I don't know the answer to that, I'll check into it. Thank you."
Remember, [most] people with dementia FEEL and relate to kindness, tone of voice, a gentle touch on their arm or hand in acknowledgment.
Learning how to communicate is a just that. It is LEARNED and it takes patience for you to be patient with your person as well as yourself.
Lastly, get an easy to read book on dementia. And, google TEEPA SNOW. She has lots of tools. You can watch webinars. You will learn a lot.
“Rite here Mom, I cleaned them for you.” If she wants to know where something specific is just say “it’s in the wash”. She’s going to keep asking so if your answer is simple and the same each time it might help her grasp the new routine in time.
Daughterinlaw7: The individual with dementia may not be able to comprehend that you put her clean clothing out for her. You may have to remove the dirty ones from her sight.
Sounds like my mom. It's a constant battle regarding her clothes. Between dropping food on her shirt at every meal and having incontinence, I have told her to put everything she wears into the laundry basket as soon as she takes it off. That went pretty well when she was living with me. Now, in AL, they do her laundry. They are SUPPOSED to put it away but my mom will say, NO I'll do it. She's such the people pleaser. And I guess the staff is lazy. The head nurse wrote a note on her list of things for the staff to do for her and it says "PUT HER LAUNDRY AWAY". But I come in a day or two or three after laundry day and it's still full of folded clean clothes. Some could be on her bed or reclining chair. It's so frustrating!!!!!
There was no discussion about what to wear.
Put moms clothes out for her where she can see them.
If she asks where they are you tell her.
If she asks again, you tell her again and show her where they are.
And you repeat this every day, day in and day out.
And you do this every day because every day is a new day with dementia.
It will help your mom if you put her clean clothes where she looks for her clothes. If things are scattered put her clean clothes in a pretty basket maybe on the dresser or near her bed. If she is doing daily morning grooming you bring them into the bathroom. ( this is a good way to kinda take a peek to see if she needs help. )
And if that does not work you keep trying different things until you find one that works...for now cuz things change sometimes over night.
If your senior is suffering from dementia she may not absorb this information, and she likely has somewhat of a fixation going with this. Just repeat yourself and move on.
'they are in the laundry"
"I'll get them for you (in a minute... soon)"
It is important to NOT ARGUE with a person.
Keep them as calm as possible.
"Oh yes, you are right ! I'll get them right away"
then ... if there is emotional fallout / she gets upset, try to ignore it.
Realize this isn't her talking, it is her confused frustrated brain (chemistry).
Always try to change the subject, realizing that people get into patterns of thought processes / behaviors and they are UNABLE to change. So, you need to change.
Learn to ignore most of it and focus on keeping the person as calm as possible.
Change the subject as best you can.
I used to say to my client who talked gibberish - nonsensical language:
"Oh, I have to think about that - that's a good idea" (depending on what the subject is - if there is one).
"I don't know the answer to that, I'll check into it. Thank you."
Remember, [most] people with dementia FEEL and relate to kindness, tone of voice, a gentle touch on their arm or hand in acknowledgment.
Learning how to communicate is a just that. It is LEARNED and it takes patience for you to be patient with your person as well as yourself.
Lastly, get an easy to read book on dementia. And, google TEEPA SNOW. She has lots of tools. You can watch webinars. You will learn a lot.
Gena / Touch Matters
TEEPA SNOW is great!!
also Dr. Natali Edmonds of Careblazers is great for training caregivers.