How do we talk to elderly father who refuses to listen or discuss anything? According to him it's his way or nothing.

He is on deed. He put down payment 16 Yrs ago. Since then My husband and I both pay all food, ultities and half mortgage payment. My father tells all family members he takes care of everything and we do nothing. Kinda frustrating. I know he has biopolar since his 50's. But it is hard to deal with verbal abuse from him

By joint owners do you mean because he pays half the Mortgage? Or, is he on the deed also. Because paying half the Mortgage does not make him 1/2 owner. He is really just paying rent. If on the deed, then he is partial owner.

Your father suffers from mental disorders that will make it hard to deal with. My cousin says his sister who is in her early 60s has become very self-centered and she suffers from BiPolar. I would suggest you get Dad a good physical. Labs and neurological. Dementia can occur in BP.

"Bipolar disorder may be a prodrome to bvFTD. Among the major psychiatric syndromes, bipolar disorder is most frequently associated with dementia (35); among major dementias, bvFTD is most commonly preceded by psychiatric symptoms (7).Jun 5, 2020"

Seems bvFTD is a frontal lobe Dementia.
"The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that controls important cognitive skills in humans, such as emotional expression, problem solving, memory, language, judgment, and sexual behaviors. It is, in essence, the “control panel” of our personality and our ability to communicate."