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I know. I have ask this before and the suggestions I received was wonderful and have worked, until last nite. Mom has started calling at 1:15 this am, telling me I was late to take her to the beauty shop. I tried to explain that it was 1 in the morning and she needed to go back to bed. She lives in a assisted living home, She went down stairs to eat breakfast and they took her back to her apartment. She called me from 1:15 am until around 4 am when I stopped answering the phone. She then called my elderly neighbor and had her call me. I have discussed this problem with the neighbor and she usually just tells mom that she sees me outside and mom is happy with that. But not last nite. mom told the neighbor if I didnt call her she was calling 911 and send the cops over to see if someone had broken in on us and killed us. We cant turn her phone off as its hooked to her life line. I have the flu and went to the dr yesterday and got a bunch of meds but his main thing was telling me I need to catch up on my sleep I have been missing. How can I with mom calling every 15-20 minutes all nite. So I need some more suggestions on how to stop this. Its becoming a every nite thing.

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I think Carol's advice is the best in this situation. We don't like to take what is left of our parents' independence from them, but the phone calls to you, your neighbor, and police indicate that your mother does need more help than she is getting at AL. It is a sad situation because your mother can't help the disorientation she feels at night, but you and your neighbor do need your sleep. The only solutions I can think of are a memory care facility or hiring a nighttime caregiver to be with her at AL. Night can be a hard time for those with dementia.
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Yes she does have dementia and the assisted living home she is in is for dementia folks. She was to the dr last fri and received a clean bill of health and was cked for a UTI and it was clear. Have spoke with the staff at the home and we have decided that when she goes to bed at nite, one of the staff will be going in her apartment to assist her with getting ready for bed ( which she does not need this help but thats the only thing we could come up with for someone to come in her apartment every nite) and after they help her change into her pjs and such, her phone will disappear until the next morning when they go in to help her get ready for the day.
As for the neigbors turning their phone off, she is elderly and her son calls her to ck on her late at nite when he gets in from work. She is not going to agree to turning her phone off. And its really not just one neighob. Mom can remember phone numbers for everyone she ever knew and will call everyone around here until she gets in touch with someone to send over to ck on us. If she dont, she will call 911 and send someone for a well ck. I have spoken with the police dept and they tell me that by law, they have to respond to every request for a well ck they received.
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The facility needs to unplug (and remove) her phone every night from 7 PM until 7 AM or some time frame like that. I can't believe they let her call willy nilly all night long! If she needs help and she's in assisted living, she should be going to the staff of the facility, not calling you at home. That's crazy (of the place) to allow her to be calling all over God's creation at that time of night. Make them step up and take some definitive action on their part. I understand her having a phone during the day, but if she's abusing it at night, THEY need to deal with it.
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I had to learn to only answer calls from my mother a set number of times before I'd ignore them for the day. However, she wasn't call 9-1-1.

For now, you need to turn off your phone at night so you can sleep.

However, after you are well, you may want to look into taking her to a doctor to be tested for dementia (if she hasn't already been tested). It sounds like she needs to be in a memory unit of some kind, either in assisted living or a nursing home. Then, she wouldn't have to have her phone.

My mom still kept her phone in the NH, but she wasn't as extreme as this. You really have to do something for your sake, but also for your neighbor, for the police and anyone else involved.

It's true that social services may have some other options, so it won't hurt to ask, but I do think your mom needs more supervision.

Good luck,
Carol
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Have her checked for a UTI. Like CM said, there must be some way to stop outgoing calls from her phone during night hours. And since she is in assisted living, it seems there would be a way to block outgoing calls to 911 or somehow redirect them to the nurses station. In AL it seems that this would be a common occurrence and would make it terribly confusing if everyone in the facility were able to call 911, staff at the facility should be notified of any legitimate emergency issues first, anyway. Your neighbors could turn the phone off too.
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There must be some way to provide a dedicated connection to her lifeline system that won't allow her to call other numbers: I'd look into that, and take her other phone away except during normal hours.
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Oh and I would call the local police department and advise them of the situation,
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This truly is a difficult situation and I feel for what you are going through; especially as you are currently ill and do need your sleep. The only think I can think of is to try calling the local elder services in your community and ask to speak to a counselor or social worker. They often have suggestions that we don't ever think of as they deal with these issues day in and day out. They had helped me tremendously in the past. Take care and hope you can resolve this.
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Sounds like she has dementia and should be in a nursing home, not assisted living. Has she always been controlling?
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Sorry for the typo. It should state SHE has called 911 before to send someone for a well check for us.
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Turning the ringer off to my phone does not work. If you read my original post, you will see she will call the neighbors and now has started saying she is calling 911 for the cops to come ck on us, which he has done before.
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She is already on 2 meds that are suppose to do that but for some reason are not working anymore. have a call into her dr to see if we can change that to something else.
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Turn the ringer on YOUR phone off!
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Maybe it will be helpful if she takes something to help her sleep through the night.. Good luck..
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