How do we respond to the question: What is happening with my house? Why won’t you take me to my house? And the sadness and grief she has.

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How do we respond to the question: What is happening with my house? Why won’t you take me to my house? And the sadness and grief she has.

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Every time my mom asks the questions about her house, she experiences surprise, shock, sadness and grief when we explain we are selling it. Of course she does not remember that we’ve taken her to see her home many times, even just a few hours earlier. We explain why we must sell it, we have photos to show her the process of fixing the foundation, flooring, etc. She always comes to a point of understanding and agreement but a short time later she’s forgotten and the questions and cycle starts over again.

Alzheimer's & Dementia Dementia Behaviors Memory Loss

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Yes, this is the disease talking. For myself I don't think that bringing up every little nail pounded into the foundation and floor needs to be told to Mom when clearly she cannot grasp what is happening and it is making her sad. Allow her to forget about this. Make a nice scrapbook of happier times in the home. And leave the subject out of the conversation unless she asks; then keep it brief. It is worth mourning over, so when she does, allow her to do so and tell her you are so sorry for her grief.

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Your Mom has a Dementia. Constantly trying to explain to her the whys is lost on her because as you say, she does not remember. As said devert the conversation. And, it may not be the house she last lived in, it could be a childhood home. With my Mom, I really think she became a child and I was her mother. TG she never asked about her house. My DH thought we should let her visit, I said no, out of site out of mind.

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Encourage her to talk about her history with the house, her memories of the family's growing up there, its gardens, the wallpaper in her bedroom - everything she liked and valued about it. It should be easy enough to divert questions about the house *now* towards conversations about what happened back through the years. Do you have lots of photos?

Don't lie. Divert.

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How do we respond to the question: What is happening with my house? Why won’t you take me to my house? And the sadness and grief she has.

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