On Monday, our mother is leaving a rehab facility (from which she eloped once but didn't get far) and moving into her new aging-in-place room in a group home (licensed, highly rated, secure, etc.) She is not "gone" enough to realize hey, this isn't my house! Where the hell am I? She is going to be FURIOUS but my sibs and I feel this is what is best. (She is rated 13 of 30 on that Alz scale, and though I'm not sure I believe it, 6e or 7a on the "stages" scale).
How on earth do we redirect her from when starts asking, "Where's my house?" "Where am I?" "Why am I here?" "Where is my car?" "Why have you done this to me?" "Go away and don't ever come again." "If this is how you 'love' me, I'd hate to see what would happen if you didn't." She is extraordinarily stubborn, doesn't believe anything is wrong with her, is completely mystified why she is in rehab (and called my sister 12 times last night to find out why...). Is and always has been a very difficult to please person. But particularly, is there any silver bullet to deflect these questions?
We have tried "because it's better/safer for you" and such, but the answer to that is always "Bullsh*t." Mom never cussed before this. In fact, she is so difficult, we have been advised not to visit her in this new place for a while, to let her "settle in." We are afraid that may never happen. Words of advice for us 3 kids (ages 54, 57, 60) who only want to see her at least content if not happy. Thanks.